During the mindfulness exercise, I was reminded of a moment recently when I took myself to a park during a stressful time and noticed my breath, the wind, and the sound of water. Sharing this practice with the group showed me that they saw the prison garden in another light, they were able to connect with similar calming sensations and notice more than they had before. It reinforced the importance of both practicing and sharing mindfulness.

Trauma Informed Facilitation

The trauma‑informed modules brought up early memories - some were my own experiences but other were things I had witnessed and pin-point that early empathy that I gained. It showed me how trauma can surface in unexpected ways as I felt sensations in the body when thinking about the trauma that I had also experienced as a child. 

During chair practice I became more aware of how I arrived in practice, feeling unsettled and not ready to sit at first. Jen helped me recognise that the body and mind don’t always align, and that this is part of the process. I’m becoming more attuned to the cues and stress responses of others as well, and learning to trust that understanding often comes in time through my own understanding or through the TIY sessions and modules. Feeling very grateful for this :) 

I am really enjoying the movement sessions as they are somewhat different than what is taught in a traditional YTT and the movements and actions make complete sense. Thank you Jen for reminding me that I am allowed to take up and use the space my body needs, sometimes we forget :) 

I also really enjoyed seeing the breakout sessions and hope that one day I will be able to join live. 

I am so grateful to be taking this course with all of you! 

I am a little slow catching up, but I do appreciate the ability to go at our own pace! While I have been practicing yoga for some time, I'm still getting used to the language such as kleshas, so I am really working on that side of things! I always appreciate how open the group is and sharing where they are at and how they are doing! 

I really enjoyed this look at Ahimsa - non-harm. This is always something that I think about and it is something that without knowing the terminology, I have been working on. It also a topic that I try and openly discuss in my work place, in a prison setting.

There is such a balance and dynamic of this in a prison setting as an officer and someone who has been in this position for a long time. I do often have to take on a role of delivering bad news, that while sometimes out of my control is still associated with me. I know sometimes people just seeing me in uniform, and I create that impression for others. I have to actively use who I am to help overcome that. What is currently going on with law enforcement makes it extra difficult to come in to a space and embracing a non-harm because those actions really impact us all. I am always conscious of the harm that may be caused because of this and then work extra hard to help change impressions and show that this side of law enforcement or prison staff exists. 

Relating those feelings of in-session activation to to discussion of Ahimsa during this session, I sometimes struggle knowing when to tap into inner courage move through feelings of activation for the sake of engagement and connection, and when to honor my body's signals and allow myself some space and compassions to opt out of the thing that's activating me. While I can be prone to over-thinking, it feels like it's can be easier said than done to truly know what is more self-harming in those moments, as it feels like there is a cost to either option. This can lead me to feel stuck. I loved what someone in the recording said as this relates to yoga and the body: that you instinctively know the difference between discomfort and harm. Like when you're stretching a muscle, you know the line between "too much, that hurts" and the outer edges of your comfort zone where growth happens. Much like the discussion in the recorded breakout room, I think I have so many experiences of someone or myself convincing me that "too much, that hurts" is just how growth is supposed to feel that I sometimes no longer completely trust myself to intuitively know this. Applying this to our current political moment, I think this is how harm and violence become normalized, like the air we breathe, and why yoga can be such a radical opportunity to recalibrate this intuition. 

Thank you for the opportunity to follow the break out discussions. I´ve been a bit sad of not being able to participate those, so this was very welcome.

Somebody mentioned in their comment that watching the recording was less activating than participating the live sessions. I share that experiennce, because I´ve had difficult to show up and speak out in the live sessions. Language barrier seems to grow higher when I´m supposed to show up, and my mind becomes empty, not in an enlightened way but more like dissosiative way 😏 

So maybe it´s ok to participate this way and not require more than I´m able to. There are a lot of things going on in my life, I´m strongly expanding out into the world and towards other people, which has been a miracle of yoga for some years for me. And now it seems like it´s carrying fruit and I will be able to both serve and also flourish and be visible more as the real me! Appearing in my space, not dis-appearing or dis-assosiating, like I used to. So there´s clearly a need for rest and ease, and the nervous system can be relied when it tells that here´s my border.

Thank you, this was very thought-awakening 🤩 

One more question - how do you minimise harm in this scenario? The things you find triggering is the 'paint the wall' avoidance or denial you get from your mother. Jen you mentioned this being the difference with yourself and your mother, how do you navigate it without shutting that person off completely. other than minimising the contact? 

• I was thinking about the anchor breath and the pause that we discussed. I was really amazed by what everyone shared. I feel the anchor breath really does help me and I noticed how I was able to use this throughout the week in some sticky situations. I am also working through a nervous system regulation course and this is a big piece of that work too, and I have found it to be an effective strategy in a number of different situations. It is helpful when I am just upset through the day and need support for myself, or when I am about to respond or unsure of how to respond, as well as when I am triggered.
• I think something that I am noticing however is my perfectionism creeping back in specifically to this. In the situations where I didn’t react perfectly, I think I am still “disappointed” in myself and in the ones where I didn’t get it right. Even though, I can look back and say I am using the breath strategy and I am taking a pause, I still notice the perfectionism creeping in. Like I think sometimes I feel like the pause and anchor breath should just provide the right answer or if I do that that it will impact the person I’m interacting with. But, I have to remind myself that I can only navigate my own nervous system and not other peoples. So, where I often struggle is when I take the breath and I still don’t know what to say or do. I feel more calmed and I’m proud in those moments that I’m doing something instead of reacting and I have really had to focus on being proud of myself versus focusing on the end result right now. I can’t help how others respond, even if I change the way I interact and communicate. For instance, with family members sometimes when I don’t respond and am pausing and taking a breath or using those strategies, they react as though I am doing something wrong by stepping back. With one of my family members, they like rolled their eyes at me and it almost activated them in some way that I didn’t have our normal argument, and I wasn’t giving them the reaction they were expecting. One mentioned that I was just avoiding getting negative feedback (while they were intoxicated and starting an argument). So, I really have to trust and believe in myself and the process of growth because it’s still new to not react in some situations and I don’t always have the right words. I have to trust that calming my nervous system is the priority and that those around me will be okay with that.
• I really appreciated when Leaf shared about their experience and noted that they tend to be a reactionary person because that is definitely me when I am too activated. I appreciated them referring to it as reacting vs responding and I like that idea. While I might not always have the right answer, it’s an easy way for me to check in – am I reacting or responding?
• Thank you to April who shared about their advocacy work. I am really passionate about advocacy, and I just want to express my gratitude for those around the country who show up and advocate to legislators, etc. It really is impactful across the country for so many so thank you so much!

Range of Motion Exercise

• I really enjoyed this exercise, and I enjoyed how it was structured. I also think this is a great way for people to start exploring their range of motion. I love the connection to range of motion off the mat and I think this yoga program has really re-invigorated the yoga-off-the-mat lifestyle and thinking about how to take what I learn and how I grow on the mat into my daily life.

I also appreciated the one woman on the recording talking about choosing one yoga sutra to focus on at a time, as it can be very overwhelming to focus on all of them at once (despite them all being important and overlapping i.e. pranayama, asana, niyama, etc). Currently, most of my self-reflection is focusing on the Yamas, specifically Ahimsa, Vairagya & Aparigraha to prepare my mind and body, for the asana and pranayama practices. I really appreciate the way Jen models always coming back to the breath after a posture/movement or two to regulate the nervous system, checking in with our bodies and notice what's happening energetically.