In terms of noticing the impact that pausing has had on my nervous system, I have found this one of the most challenging things of both this lesson and the training overall. I have ADHD and a very busy/active mind, and I struggle to settle into pauses or quieter moments. This is easier for me in-person, because I think there is something about the energy of others pausing that I find grounding that allows me to mirror that same energy, and while I can certainly still feel a sense of community and togetherness over Zoom, it definitely blunts the impact co-regulation for me. That said, I know the benefits of slowing down and it's been one of my biggest goals this year and for the future. It sometimes takes me a couple days to "down shift" when I'm super activated, but the practices in this training and in my yoga practice in general help me flex that "slow down" muscle in my nervous system, even if my growth/progress in that area can be frustratingly slow and non-linear. As I challenge myself to slow down, I want to remember how Asteya can look like not comparing yourself or your progress to where you think you should be and accepting where you are. 

I loved the quote of the truth is still the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is still a lie if everyone believes it. That is really powerful when we think about it. 

I appreciated the honesty in our first breakout group that stayed on for the recording - there was so much realness and personal truths discussed and great for those of us that were unable to participate to hear our cohort! 

I liked the movement piece and the discussion to how to add to a group by invitation as opposed to always giving directions! 

I myself have been suffering of not showing up as a whole, but being a shapeshifter. Because I was not fully loved, accepted and appreciated as the one I am. Not been seen enough through a positive lens. So it was necessary to turn the somehow more acceptable side into light or towards the other. To cultivate an identity, that is not fully honest, because it was not the real me. And it made me grow up to become quite a scattered person, and quite closed. And the scary thing is, that it took almost 40 years to notice how bad it was! Thanks to my kids, I make an effort to change. They are not letting me fake!

On the other hand it has become really easy for me to just be who I am, when guiding yoga to others. It is not about me but it`s about the yoga practise! It has really helped me to be ok with myself, both on and off ther mat. Guiding yoga can be really good self-help!

I liked the movement practise very much as it really was focused in awareness of the body, breath and sensations. Appreciation of what is, and really to find out curiosly, what really is there in the moment. How does it feel to pause? Giving tools and permission also to move when necessary. Pointing out that it is ok to prepare oneself for pausing. You don´t need to be ready right away. Or maybe you won´t be ready for it at all, and still you can practise, while feeling just what you feel.

All that made it really easy for me to become still. It worked nicely for me in that moment. And now when I pay attention, I still feel somehow more at ease.

It´s ok to be like I am! Don´t have to change anything of it. So thank you! <3

I participated live for the first hour, but watched the whole recording to get more out of it, while feeling more awake :-D

Catching up and now I´m only one lecture behind... ;-)

It’s interesting exploring truth as I have recently been through a number of interpersonal relationship difficulties. A lot of close people around me have been experiencing really stressful experiences and I myself have also just been through a big transition into a separation with my partner. As I am sort of trying to navigate each of these, I’ve also had to be able to recognize truth. I’m trying in this time to be self-reflective and see, you know, where I could be better in my relationships. However, in that experience, I have found a few challenges where someone has placed a judgement on me or provided their perspective or their truth about me or our relationship. Recently, I’ve had to really work with discernment in identifying my truth vs reality vs other’s truth rather than just accepting what everyone says as a definitive truth. For instance, I’ve noticed that in my immediate family sometimes “truth” is used as a defense mechanism and that my immediate families “truths” about me are based on our experiences from childhood, etc and are not always based on the present.  I also notice that my immediate family likes to use the “truth” in order to harm. I noticed this is a pattern we have all engaged in and I realized this when I was asking for support recently, but  I was only able to get a “true perspective” from a family member.  I remember sitting while they were saying it and thinking, honestly, do you think you’re being helpful? And, it was a good reflective moment for me. That this person in my family is actually suffering, and that they are using this truth about me as a way to defend and deflect rather than see our suffering as a place of connection. I didn’t need or ask for this person’s “truth” about me, yet rather than being able to just listen and provide what I needed, that was the only thing they could imagine providing was “the truth.” I’m sure that I have done this as it is prevalent in my family and so it was a reminder of how truth can be harmful and how there is this difference between following our truth and telling it all, all of the time.

So, all that to say, I think discernment and reflection are important in examining truth. Just because something is said or generally recognized by many does not make it true. Ultimately, we have to find our own truth and find ways to balance our truth with non-harm. 

I loved hearing others share in the breakout. Thank you for sharing noticing your own moments of grace because it reminds me that I am imperfect and by doing this practice we’re growing and showing up better than before! I appreciate knowing that other’s have these same moments and that we can not beat ourselves up but can grow from it!

Activation Exercises/Movement Practice

Something that I continue to find interesting is that the tension/release exercise really does not work for me. I have been introduced to this quite a bit in my past and felt the same. I think there are other ways I can sort of bring in the sensation of activation and release of different parts of my body, but when we do the tense and release as we did in the very first practice, I just notice that it does not work for me.

Otherwise, I really continue to love the activation and movement and then coming back to stillness throughout. It has been such a great experience for me. I am a bit nervous but also excited to start thinking about how I would actually teach this and writing out my own sequence and wording that I would use. In addition, I have really enjoyed the cueing and the information on the internet module and am excited to keep thinking about it.

My inner monologue has changed and evolved with years of surrounding myself with a community of folks that embraces a more self-loving demeanor. Having grown up in an environment that didn’t support emotional awareness, I was in the habit of talking to myself the way those in my family or friend group spoke about themselves and others. It has been an ever evolving change of shifting from those pre-programmed negative thoughts to being more gentle with myself.

I noticed that those moments of pause and notice moments are the most necessary especially because I live with adhd and tend to fast forward thoughts and movements without realizing it. I appreciate somatic practices very much!

The past couple of years has been like a rescue mission for me in finding myself again and nursing my authentic self back to life. It's not been easy and it's been scary, to be honest. I've had a lot of voices over the years tell me that I'm not okay as I am; I'm too bubbly, have too much energy, I'm too passionate, too open...but these are things that make up who I truly am and the "light" that I've been dimming for most of my life. I'm not being honest to myself or anybody else if I hide those things. I've learned that the more authentic I am, the more I attract loving, healthy relationships into my life and people who value me for who I really am.

One of the breakout discussions someone shared about a resistance they have been working through, and I can totally relate to that. I absolutely love this class, but sometimes when it comes to movement there's a little whiney voice in my head sometimes that says "I don't want tooooooo"! It happens when I try to make myself work out too. It also reminds me that there's a part of our brain that grows bigger every time we do something we don't want to do, and that pushing myself out of my comfort zone and doing it anyways can be a good thing. I always feel better when I do. I was having a lot of neck and shoulder pain yesterday, and the body tensing/relaxing technique always helps with that. I love how accessible yet effective the movements are.

Thank you all for your honesty and openness and for making this a safe space. This class has already been life changing for me and I'm looking forward to joining you for the live session this week!