What I appreciated most about Chapter 2 was the invitation to approach the body with curiosity rather than fear, which felt both grounding and empowering. The author’s emphasis on trauma living in the body, rather than solely in the thinking brain, reframed healing as a somatic and embodied process instead of only an intellectual one. Another point that stood out was the discussion of how many white-bodied people are conditioned to view their bodies as fragile, vulnerable, and in need of protection, often looking to police bodies or systems of authority for safety. As being a white woman this stood out. I appreciated the mindfulness exercises and opportunity to connect to my energy centers around this topic.
Question:
Examine your own beliefs about white bodies, Black bodies, and police bodies. Can you trace the beginning of these beliefs? How does your existence in your body impact your beliefs about other bodies?
Honestly, this book, and mainly the presentation, was a bit triggering for me. I really appreciate what the author is saying, especially when he chooses to write in a somatic sense, because I connect more to a presentation of energy and a philosophical framing. However, I seem to immediately disconnect when a historical perspective is brought up. That is certainly something interesting for me to explore on a personal level. The presentation and categorization also felt triggering, as it came across more as a dividing energy than a point of connection for me. I kept wondering why this was so uncomfortable? Is it because I am white and was raised by a conservative family with a Midwestern-type vibe, or is it the way the material is being presented, which feels so rigid and “black and white,” based on one person’s experiences? I think I appreciate when things are framed more as “this is my experience” as opposed to “this is.” This reflection has allowed me to consider why it is so triggering for me. I often tell my students that our triggers are our glimmers, so I do believe there is a lot here for me to break open.
I did have a truly enlightening experience with a friend of mine who spent half of his life in prison. Without him even saying anything, I was able to feel how much more challenging it is for a Black man with felonies to grow and move forward. That was a lived experience that I felt in my body. It was as if our differences allowed for an opportunity for huge growth within me. Maybe that is part of it — acknowledging that we do have different experiences because of our skin color and life choices, and that those differences hold a huge opportunity for growth and expansion for me. In that sense, I do feel that experience offered me a chance to be more mindful and to embody how differences can become a powerful connector and expander when I truly self-reflect.
My experience as a white cisgender woman in the United States and with those who inhabit black bodies, white bodies and those of all races who dedicate themselves to the profession of policing other bodies has much to do with how I was socialized and the narratives I received and accepted from family members, and then cemented in my experiences with systems such as school in early years and other bodies of power as I grew up.
I grew up in a predominately white town, with the majority of people of color, specifically those who lived in black bodies concentrated in the low income housing unit that was on my bus route. Because of the history of the state that I lived in and the violent opposition to black children being accepted in white schools, I grew up with an initiative that had students of color in low income urban areas bussed to my suburban town to receive a 'higher quality education'. Therefore I grew up understanding that while my classmates that had different skin tone than I were a part of the same school community, they were also different than me, as I would return home within 15 minutes on the bus, and they would face a journey home oftentimes that included hours in rush hour traffic, delivering them back to their homes in the city. I did not understand their experiences, however as being different than mine because my young eyes were not aware or vigilant to the covert or overt racism they experienced on a daily basis. This did not change until I began to learn about social inequality in the 7th grade and became commited to the process of learning and unlearning as I grew into myself as an adult.
My experience with police and law enforcement was always one of obedience, I was a child who liked to do the right thing and the praise I would receive from following the spoken and unspoken rules of society. I did not learn to negotiate the innate inequality that exists between people when one is armed and given unquestionable power. I benefited from these systems that privileged me and harmed others, by way of getting out of speeding tickets, and other run ins with small infractions. I did not fear for my life in these situations, but punishment and how that would impact me. Today, I understand that police and law enforcement are people, who are sometimes hurt and sick in their souls, that have accepted the job of dehumanizing others, and therefore dehumanizing themselves. They are not able to act and respond with emotion, empathy or their instincts, but to perpetuate law and order by relying on what they believe will keep others "safe". I have empathy for them, but also believe that the job they do is not one that is natural or human, I am an abolitionist at heart. Until we are able to heal those within these systems, both empowered and disenfranchised, it is impossible to imagine a world that might operate without the policing of others without force, as it is deeply rooted in our historical memory as having "always been done"
Q: Examine your own beliefs about white bodies, Black bodies, and police bodies. Can you trace the beginning of these beliefs? How does your existence in your body impact your beliefs about others.
I was brought up in a small village which was not diverse, college was not diverse either. Due to the way I have been brought up though I have never felt that I am better than anyone, everyone is important and while I had not experienced diversity my values made me question why many spaces were white. In the school I work it is very diverse which is amazing and I love it. I love seeing how everyone is supported by department and others. Students going into the world to get into spaces they deserve to be in.
Q: Complete the body practices in Chapter 2- what did it feel like to focus on your body sensations?
Q: Examine your own beliefs about white bodies, Black bodies, and police bodies. Can you trace the beginning of these beliefs? How does your existence in your body impact your beliefs about other bodies?
I am a white upper middle class woman living in Canada and I feel tremendous guilt. I desperately want to make amends but find myself treating others who don't look like me as "special". I smile more, I go out of my way more to be helpful. My background is both indigenous and English so I have a more prominent history of being a colonizer and one that has been removed from society.
I also did not grow up with a large black population and felt that I didn't treat anyone differently...but I unknowingly did. I was a child of the 80s and saw news footage littered with blacks being handcuffed by police. I was taught to respect police and that they would not do something that wasn't the correct course of action. I grew up assuming those individuals who were in handcuffs were indeed guilty because why else would the police arrest them? As a result, I inadvertently became suspicious of people who didn't look like me, not outright, but deep down inside I was lead to believe that crime was committed by certain groups of people (lower SES, indigenous/black etc.).
It is through listening and learning that I realize how wrong I was and I wish I had this education growing up. I recognize the racist views that I grew up with and how I internalized them. I feel shameful and guilty that the colour of my skin provides me with advantages.
I used to say (much like every other white person I'm sure) that I didn't see colour, meaning that I was above others who were suspicious of people who did not look like them. However, what I've come to realize (through this course and others) is that what we see on the outside is so much deeper on the inside. There are stories that each of us carry and it is up to understand to understand the systemic racism that exists.
Q: Complete the body practices in Chapter 2- what did it feel like to focus on your body sensations?
It was eye opening to truly tune into the sensations of my body. I could feel the freeze response coming. My go to is often to cry in emotional situations which is a freeze response. I never knew why I frequently cry, but it is simply to give meaning/feeling to my response because I'm unable to flee or fight.