1. Micro Aggression Body Practice- In this practice, I took myself to a place in which I experienced a micro aggression in regard to my sexuality. My bisexuality was diminished by another person's words from within the LGBT community. As I went through this, I experienced a freezing feeling. This feeling of disbelief and inability to respond in the moment. My body freezes when I am faced with uncomfortable feelings. This practice of moving and releasing that feeling after putting myself into felt very freeing. Additionally, reflecting and feeling into a micro aggression that I have experienced combined with the understandings of micro aggressions that were spoken through in this book in relation to racial micro aggressions- I understand that while I experienced this, it is so incredibly different than the micro aggressions experienced by black bodies. It does however, help me to develop more empathy.
2. Being the Only White Body at a Wedding- Similar to the above, I felt a freezing feeling. I did not feel any "rational fear" in my mind as I went through this. The idea of being in a room of 300 black people does not scare me or make me feel uncomfortable. The uncomfortable feeling comes from the fact that my BODY freezes at the comment of "come on in, we don't bite". My body is not comfortable with this setting and that is a bizarre feeling to come to realize.
3. Asking a Black Body for Comfort- In this body practice I was taken back to my mentor when I first became a teacher. I worked with predominately black and brown students and my mentor was black. I often relied on her to educate me on injustices in our educational system and the best way to navigate. In this body practice I felt guilt looking back on how much I, as a white body, relied on another black body to help ME in this. Having this awareness, I navigate the world in a more mindful and intentional way with what I know now.
Q: Complete the body practice on pg. 77. Reflect on your experience. (If you are working with different page numbers- this is the first set of body practices in Chapter 5)
The microagression experience that I had make me feel very constricted on the neck, as I stood with this pain and just observed it make me feel more and more in acceptance, thinking on the situation made me revive this very traumatic experience of disrespect, making me feel small, insecure, like I'm not worthy, even crazy like if this is my fault, when in reality this should not happen to anyone and it is unfair and my body wanted with all its strength to get vengance I just kept feeling it and thinking ok this happened now let it go, and you don't need to do anything about it cuz karma will take care of it and as I let go I just felt light and free, but before this happened couldn't helped but connect with all my past traumas on similar situations where I was deeply hurt and this impotency of not being able to do anything about it but just feel like a victim in a very deep painful kind of way, this type of rejection makes me feel like is coming from ancient generational trauma that connect to all the persecution my family has experience.
Q. Complete the body practice on pg. 93. Reflect on your experience. * For white folks and non-Black readers. (This is at the end of Chapter 6)
In this practice I thought of my life at the ranch where we where the only rich withe people and everyone else was treating us like Gods but at the same time I could sense their envy and resentment coming from an inferiority prejudice of being poor and brown and I of course knew it in the back of my head and remember always acting like I was just one person more in the room and treating everyone as an equal and eventually everyone ended up warming up to us and having a lot of fun, never the less I was not part of this place and every time I came back they make sure I will need to earn my place again and again and this showed me that I was never going to be an equal to them, their resentment was bigger every time, I really could have use this information on white supremacy back then but I know It wouldn't have make a difference to them, I has made a difference to me and only on this time of information I sometimes think I finally start to see a door opening for change and sometimes like before I feel the hatred and feel like I go extremely fast back to the beginning.
Q. Complete the body practice beginning on pg. 105. How did paying attention to the experience of your body change your view of the incident/experience you imagined? (This is at the end of Chapter 7)
I migrated from Mexico to USA and back when I was living in Mexico we never had any black people before so I could not tell and experience, my first interaction with black people was until I came to LA and I admit that I was actually afraid of black people cuz I had no idea how to interact with them, immediately I started hearing about all this discrimination issues but coming from outside of this country I couldn't understand it, as the years pass I started meeting black people and feeling more comfortable around them, I did sense that I was maybe doing and extra effort and being very careful into what to say to try not to offend them, but because I'm not from here I also felt a freedom of speech that I can say stuff that people from this country find bias and disrespectful and saying this things actually created an appreciation from black people which express to me that they where finally feeling like someone was treating them like real people, my experience with people of color is amazing I find I have gotten to meet really kind sensitive good hearted human beings but at the same time I feel I wall and a distancing that I'm sure comes from this defense mechanism engraved on the generational trauma, to which I identify 100% cuz I'm as jew I always afraid of people reactions and need to be aware of what is happening in my surroundings 24/7.
Q: Complete the body practice on pg. 77. Reflect on your experience. (If you are working with different page numbers- this is the first set of body practices in Chapter 5)
I really appreciated the author pointing out the themes of clean versus dirty pain and resilience. The idea of clean versus dirty pain connected deeply for me because it speaks to embodied knowing rather than just mental processing. I also keep coming back to the understanding that it is always about us — not other people’s behavior. In response to the question and Chapter 5 – Body practices / Overheard derogatory experience, I felt and reminded myself of these energetic tendencies I have. I tend to experience this most strongly in my heart. My body feels an immediate urge to speak up, but it takes me some time to sort through what I am feeling. I usually feel an intense energy in my solar plexus. For a long time I thought this was anxiety, but I have started to realize that it is actually my power center lighting up, and when I am able to remove the emotional charge from it, the energy feels powerful.
Q. Complete the body practice on pg. 93. Reflect on your experience. * For white folks and non-Black readers. (This is at the end of Chapter 6.)
I appreciated the author’s story about the news story and how he expressed anger, particularly how he described feeling it in his body. It was powerful to hear that embodied experience, and even though I haven’t felt it under the same circumstances, I could relate to the desire to protect and keep my children safe. I have definitely felt anger toward various people in my daughters’ lives whom I feel have not been awake, supportive, or unconsciously connected to “old stories,” often due to what I believe is an inability to self-reflect.
In response to the discussion about Black immigrants not having the same obstacles as Black people who have been in the U.S. for generations, I connected with the idea that unresolved trauma living in the body can promote blame and victimhood. His description of how many ancestors lived in the U.S. under intense survival conditions resonated with me, even though I haven’t experienced that personally. It reminded me of my experience living around Ukrainian culture. The suffering of that country seemed to continue in the U.S., and I felt a significant amount of unresolved or unidentified trauma that persists across generations, connected to the oppressive and war-like energy that has shaped that culture over time. The war-like scarcity and old-world core beliefs of the patriarchal system and division felt so intense and bound to me.
This reflection came to mind while listening to his story, and it enabled me to connect, despite the tone that again felt triggering and uncomfortable in the author’s approach. I also appreciated his acknowledgment of what we are choosing to pass down and continue.
Question 3: Body Practicing/Only white person at an all black event/handicapped person/seeing a car crash and the man is mad and black
(This response does not include going to an all black event in real life.)
In exploring and feeling these scenarios in my energy centers, I notice an immediate choice to take a breath and go into my body, as there is a recognition of something that feels different or potentially challenging. I feel it primarily in my heart center, along with a drive to over-connect, over-share, or overdo in an effort to connect. Like energy leaking unintentionally from my body. It’s interesting to notice this now, as I reflect on these scenarios alongside my prior responses.