7/20/23 Live Session Recording

During the discussion on Ahimsa, I have recognized that I have begun to practice this prior to having the knowledge of labeling what it was.  I have begun to ask myself questions like: what is my motivation or intention behind the decisions I make in consideration to the choices I make?  I recognize that I wish to do "No-harm" with my hands, words, or actions.  I practiced this through having a certain patience, understanding, and a newly discovered most valuable action of forgiveness.  Forgiveness for myself and for others.  Using positive affirmations help me to keep a cheery disposition and friendly attitude to myself and others despite my circumstances.  A feeling of contentment has resulted from this practice of Ahimsa. 

This exploration of barriers to Ahimsa has opened my eyes to how the human mind works.  Learning this has me tenaciously looking for the truth.

I have noticed a particular barrier to Ahimsa and for overall health and wellness as whole.  It is the lack of readily available resources available for any population.  The lack of available information on resources is causing harm to communities. Information that is available, has been filled with noise and a maze of information that a person needs to navigate through to find specific resources.  Resources that could be readily available to all populations who need it are under a screen or veil which cut off access to those who need it most.  A support for this can be the use of advertisements and footwork explaining how to access the resources for government programs, initiatives, and non-profit organizations in our communities to individuals.  This would create the possibility of helping particular populations of people and reach more diverse populations of people.  Founding out where and exactly how to access certain resources is something I have been looking into, researching and asking others for help.  I have found it to be a difficult feat as I too have barriers for access in my current community for, I have restricted usage of telecommunication systems.  I am bringing this concern to the "Project Pathways Program" at the New Hampshire State Prison for Women and presenting it as a community service endeavor to be considered on how to and/or if it can be offered it to residents and members of the community as a whole.  I am taking small steps and reflecting on my course of action and my path of life through the many transitions I am to shift from peacefully and directing my focus to the many positive possibilities.  

With the Trauma Informed Sequencing, I was able to practice in prison, I found this practice supportive to my neurologic regulation.  It has given the time and space, to focus inward, processing feelings and sensations effectively.  It helped me to process and let go of thoughts relating to environmental factors and circumstances of life.  I've noticed when participants, including myself, would enter the class, we would all have different levels of energy and were at different stages in our practice.  I noticed an energy and excitement was brought into the class as participants arrive.  I remember after a long day of school/work in the prison, there is an abundance of opportunities to stay busy and active in the prison with various programming options.  I was exhausted and after setting up my mat I immediately laid prone on my mat in great relief knowing I was going to have a well needed "treat"ment for my body through the practice of Yoga.  I was in a safe and comfortable space and remember feeling complete relaxation.

As participants arrive with welcoming and the energetic release portion at the beginning of class, it offers everyone at which who are at different stages of their day and energy level, an opportunity to move and focus on the movement and breath to come into this space of safety, at which healing can begin.  I enjoyed the different options presented on the live session recording for module 3.  I see the benefits of offering discharge and energy release and the multitude of options for breathwork and movement while sitting, standing, seated, and I have personally noticed for me lying supine and prone as well.  An awareness of and checking in on everyone as individuals can help determine how to begin class and what choices to offer for discharge and energy release options.

I was able to view the recording and here are my thoughts and answers to the prompts.

When teaching DBT skills to my patients, I frequently tell them that they have already been practicing the skills but are now putting language to it. This is how I felt about Ahimsa. Ahisma is so important for both us, those around us, and those we serve. There is a lot of harm that occurs daily and that has occurred in this country, and I appreciated the conversation on intersectionality and aspects of identity and how Ahisma relates to this.

I really related Bri’s sharing in the recording. She began to share about her position as a correctional officer and talking to people about her job and them saying “isn’t that scary”. This is something I receive daily when I tell folks I work as a dance/movement therapist in an inpatient forensic hospital. I am frequently asked if I am safe, if I work with dangerous people, and others. I came into forensics wanting to work with this population, to see people as just humans, and to offer an expressive and nonverbal outlet to those I work with. At the end of the day, we have all done things we are ashamed of, but by practicing Ahisma and allowing ourselves forgiveness and meeting others in a humanizing manner we can work to heal harm done.

I was very struck when the conversation of knowing when we are ready to enter these spaces and knowing our own biases and assumptions and how to set boundaries as to not cause harm to others. As a therapist, I feel there is this thought that if we do not take someone on as a client, we are not good enough or skilled enough. Thinking about this but sitting with the fact that if we work with individuals and are not ready, we can cause harm. I feel this conversation really helped me to switch my perspective on this concept within healing relationships.

While I attempt to bring Ahisma and non-harm to my practices, I am aware that I work in a system that harms others and a system that I am frequently a witness or victim of violence. This poses a huge barrier. For example, I was facilitating a gym group when a patient physically assaulted a peer so badly that he was arrested from the hospital and sent back to jail. I believe the words I heard from my supervisor was “we could have had a homicide on our hands”. This patient was readmitted about 5 months later and while I thought I was over this, I noticed myself having trauma symptoms. I attempted to advocate for the unit as there were still patients and staff who were present for this assault on the unit, however I was not heard. My truth in this moment was that I was hurt and traumatized from witnessing violence and in order to not allow additional harm to myself, I moved to another unit while he was present. This was difficult and caused me to make a lot of accommodations, but after doing this module I realize I was really practicing Ahisma for myself. I was not ready to serve this patient and should I had tried to I would have caused harm to him and to myself.

I believe non-harm is tricky as working in a forensic system, I see harm occur daily. I see the harm the system has on my patients and I am harmed by being a witness/victim of violence. I have to enforce involuntary medication orders and put people in restraints to stop harm from happening to them or others. As an admissions RT, I see patients the day they arrive at the hospital from jail and I have to read police reports and read about violence my patients may have inflicted on others. My biggest takeaway this week is that I can make sure to practice Ahisma/non-harm for myself and take steps to integrate this into my practice and work, but also know that not everyone practices this. As I continue, my question becomes how do I practice non-harm and live in this way with harm occurring around me and when those I interact with may not have the same practice.

I greatly appreciated the trauma-informed sequencing and energetic release portion provided in this module. This is something I have also integrated into my dance/movement therapy sessions unknowingly. For example, I will frequently have my patients engage in stomping and shaking off energy in our warmups as to bring our focus to the here and now. I think this is extremely important in forensic settings as there is constantly something occuring, at least on my unit. Patients are called out of group for medications, alarms go off during groups, patients get into arguments, patients disagree with the team, and so on. Allowing a release of what our body is holding from the hour/day/week/etc allows a different way to engage in and be in classes/groups.

The practice of Ahimsa definitely feels like one that takes dedication and deep trust. As discussed in the recording and modules, with Ahimsa being that deepest foundational root of healing centered yoga, I agree with others that this is one I've been practicing and sharing and yet feel there is much more to unearth here.     Recently, I've turned my awareness to the harm I cause to myself with negative self talk and lack of trust within myself. Part of my work with Ahimsa is that work of examining these obstacles that exist within perceptions, judgements and assumptions of myself because that will be reflected in the way I carry myself throughout the world and as a facilitator. Of Course, I feel this is not a practice to perfect and one that I can choose to be vulnerable with as a facilitator if it feels ok or timely. This discussion made me think about the non verbal components of being a facilitator and how I can create an environment that offers others an opportunity to explore their own perceptions, judgements, assumptions too. 

Also AHHHHHH there is so much harm in the world, this is a heavy topic and so so present. Big exhale. This discussion makes me think about how so many environments perpetuate harm and how hard it is to bring awareness to this practice of non harm within the context of harmful environments. 

Energy release makes so much sense to me! In my experience both teaching 60 min vinyasa and participating, I feel that often the offering of a centering practice at the beginning of class can be mistaken for energetic release. I am reflecting on what I have offered in the beginning of classes and what I have received in the beginning of 60 min vinyasa classes and I think about how rushed it feels to me because in the studio context it feels there is pressure to get to the " flow"  - I believe offering participants the opportunity to move in a way that aligns with them is on par with this energetic release however, this approach really lands for me and I am curious to see examples of how other people in this cohort offer energetic release.