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(@caitlyncamardellegmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 13
Topic starter  

Hello every one, 

 

I did not attend the first few hours of our first meeting because of the time frame mix up on my end, however I am excited to be here now! I am from Jackson, Mississippi and have been practicing yoga for a little over a year now. I have been following the prison yoga project for several years and was always drawn to it. Yoga is new to me but trauma is not. I grew up in New Orleans, in poverty. My parents were not together and my abusive step dad came in my life around age 7. He was mentally, physically, and sexually abusive towards me and my mom. I witnessed a lot and can remember feeling anxiety at a very young age. We moved around more times than I can remember. We lived through many hurricanes. Multigenerational trauma runs deep in my family as well.  Katrina is what brought me to Mississippi at age 16. The only positive was that it got my mom and brothers and I away from my step dad.  By time I turned 21, the anxiety and depression become too much and I went to a doctor. Of course they just throw pills at you, but that was never enough. After years of substance abuse, and many other bad decisions made in survival mode, I became pregnant at 27. That is when  I finally started seeing a psychiatrist and got the diagnosis of C-PTSD. It suddenly all made sense. I am now almost 33 and found yoga was the missing puzzle piece I needed for my healing journey. A few months into my practice, my yoga teacher started encouraging me to teach. I told her about the Prison Yoga Project and she says, "you know I use to work for the DA's office?" SO. Here I am. My goal is to implement a program into our prison's here in Mississippi, and even work on Louisiana. But first I need to become certified and this is the best place to do that. I am honored to be a part of this cohort. I am excited to continue my healing journey while also learning to help others. Anybody else from the South?


   
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(@mmcm)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 13
 

Hi Caitlyn,

I'm really happy you're with us! I am also in the South (Corpus Christi, Texas), and I also have a diagnosis of C-PTSD. There are many parallels in our histories. My abuse and neglect began early and because my abuser was my primary caregiver (my mother) and it was just the two of us, I did not develop with any sense of a non-traumatic situation, nor did I learn what it was like to be with a non-threatening person. By the time I was school-age, the damage had been done. It has meant that all stress feels like toxic stress and all stimuli appears as potentially threatening -- which is a very exhausting way to live! I, too, went through years of substance abuse, alcoholism, psychotherapies, psychotropic medications, behavioral therapies, etc., etc., but nothing did much good -- until I discovered yoga. The most profound healing I have ever experienced has been directly through the body: body therapies and somatic healing like yoga, weightlifting, a high-fat vegan diet, sleep, relaxation and lots of meditation. Recently I have also learned a lot about the dysregulation of my nervous system. Do you know much about this paradigm? I think it is fairly new. Once I learned how to become aware of when I was dysregulated, I could begin to practice re-regulating. It has also made an enormous difference. I imagine that many (most? all?) people in prisons have trauma histories such as ours and that they may not know about the breathing, yogic, re-regulating techniques that have helped me so much. My goal is to share these things with them and others like them so that we can heal together. Glad you are here.

Best,

Melanie  


   
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(@caitlyncamardellegmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 13
Topic starter  

@mmcm hey Melanie! Thanks for the reply! I have heard of dysregulated nervous systems. I know enough to know that my nervous system is dsyregulated due to trauma. I will definitely have to read more into it because I know (most of the time) when I become activated. It’s still hard to bring myself back down sometimes. So that is when it will be beneficial to learn about re-regulating yourself. 

I am glad we are both here healing and learning to help others! 


   
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(@123cristaleegmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 5
 

Hello,

I am so happy that you are on this journey with us! Excited to get to know you more and see where this journey take us all. So wonderful to virtually meet you!

 


   
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(@dharmaokemah)
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 66
 
Posted by: @caitlyncamardellegmail-com

Hello every one, 

 

I did not attend the first few hours of our first meeting because of the time frame mix up on my end, however I am excited to be here now! I am from Jackson, Mississippi and have been practicing yoga for a little over a year now. I have been following the prison yoga project for several years and was always drawn to it. Yoga is new to me but trauma is not. I grew up in New Orleans, in poverty. My parents were not together and my abusive step dad came in my life around age 7. He was mentally, physically, and sexually abusive towards me and my mom. I witnessed a lot and can remember feeling anxiety at a very young age. We moved around more times than I can remember. We lived through many hurricanes. Multigenerational trauma runs deep in my family as well.  Katrina is what brought me to Mississippi at age 16. The only positive was that it got my mom and brothers and I away from my step dad.  By time I turned 21, the anxiety and depression become too much and I went to a doctor. Of course they just throw pills at you, but that was never enough. After years of substance abuse, and many other bad decisions made in survival mode, I became pregnant at 27. That is when  I finally started seeing a psychiatrist and got the diagnosis of C-PTSD. It suddenly all made sense. I am now almost 33 and found yoga was the missing puzzle piece I needed for my healing journey. A few months into my practice, my yoga teacher started encouraging me to teach. I told her about the Prison Yoga Project and she says, "you know I use to work for the DA's office?" SO. Here I am. My goal is to implement a program into our prison's here in Mississippi, and even work on Louisiana. But first I need to become certified and this is the best place to do that. I am honored to be a part of this cohort. I am excited to continue my healing journey while also learning to help others. Anybody else from the South?

Wow, quite the introduction! WELCOME. Do you miss the King Cakes @caitlyncamardellegmail-comMe, I sent to prison 29 years ago. While in prison, Folson State, me and 4 lifers started a Centering Prayer meditation group with Fr. Thomas Keating's blessings and permission. We were trained by the Northern California CP group. By the time I paroled in 1997 we had over 100 men meditating on a daily basis. [btw the program is still going on increasing to overe 6 prisons and 8000 men meditating] I was introduced to yoga inside prison too Syda Prison Yoga and John Friend with Hatha Yoga. I continued with Hatha yoga for about ten years. I've fiddled around with dvd's and online things but trauma.......my dysfunctional family and my traumatic young years have left scars. I have hopeful as I am my own first student that I can finally heal and be a part of a program that already serves a community I love to serve. 


   
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(@tyrinrogersgmail-com)
New Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 3
 

Hello everyone I'm Harold and I'm getting a late start introducing myself however I'm so fortunate to be apart of this journey with new and amazing people, Yoga in a nutshell has saved my life with the benefits mentally and emotionally I've been able to adjust through some pretty traumatic times and I'm still here. Being able to help someone discover a better version of themselves is my goal, pleased to meet you all.


   
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(@caitlyncamardellegmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 13
Topic starter  

@dharmaokemah I actually work at a bakery here in Mississippi that makes king cakes 🙂 I get to eat a slice every day and it is GLORIOUS. King cake calories don't count, am I right? 


   
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(@caitlyncamardellegmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 13
Topic starter  

@tyrinrogersgmail-com I am excited to be on this journey with you. I feel like I am going to learn so much just from the people sharing this space. 


   
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 BJ
(@bjgoudey)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 11
 

 

Hi

 

I am grateful to find others with cPTSD,  It is most isolating  since most of the rest of the world doesn't really understand the various parameters of it all.  

Blessings is to be able to find a way up and out- and then share with others,  BJ


   
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(@dharmaokemah)
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 66
 

@bjgoudey I suffer from extreme PTSD due to the physical, sexual, and emotional trauma suffered by my parents. Still to this day, certain triggeres happen, and then my brain check out, and it's all survival mode. At least with Yoga and meditation, we have tools to help ease the length of how long the triggers last. I also practice DBT skills which helps alot. 

One step forward 2 back, no judgement, no self deprecating, just love myself and do the best I am capable of for the day. 

 

Never miss the opportunity to reacch out to your fellow students for support, listening, or just to sit. My cell is 539-202-9455 and my personal email is devahardeepsingh@gmail.com   feel free to reach out if you are having a bad day. Willing to listen and be supportive. 


   
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 BJ
(@bjgoudey)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 11
 

Thank Deva for all this contact offer.  I really did not expect that.  It seemed comforting enough to just know there are others around who start off from the same foot.  Noting: I have a friend that was raised in an ordinary kindly (not perfect) home, who cannot comprehend such ugliness, although tries. A wonderful reminder to us of the humanity that is possible or can actually exist. Such fun to hang out with an 'free' individual! Thank you Deva- will contact you soon.  BJ  (So. California)

 

For everyone 

530-990-7850   

a4sbunny@gmail.com.  


   
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(@sanyalsabitri88gmail-com)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 5
 

Hola from India! I work with children and adolescents from a versatile background coming from different privileges in terms of socio economic layers and other identities. I am extremely happy to be here. The last couple of weeks have been a bit hard for me as my grandma passed away, but she is at peace now! I have missed out my third class and am looking forward to attending the fourth <3 once again, so much gratitude to Jen, Chanda, Priscilla and PYP Team - more power to your work <3 


   
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