3/20/25 Live Session Recording (Module7)

I’ve realized that my own suffering has been created by my expectations toward others and my difficulty in accepting diverse experiences. Since I was a little girl, I’ve always had high expectations in my relationships, and I often found myself hurt when others weren’t as considerate as I hoped. This expectation has led to suffering, especially when it comes to routine and predictability.

Growing up in a toxic household where I never felt safe to be myself, I never knew what kind of mood my guardian would be in. This constant uncertainty led me to hyper-analyze people, always feeling anxious if someone didn’t act in the way I was used to. I now see how this behavior has blocked my third eye chakra from understanding relationships, my heart chakra from being compassionate, and my sacral chakra from feeling confident both in myself and in my relationships.

I’ve come to realize that non-attachment, which I’ve learned, is the key to freeing myself from the suffering caused by unrealistic expectations. By accepting people and situations as they are, without trying to control or predict, I hope to open myself up to more compassion and peace

I truly connected with Darrnel when he brought up finding a common ground and bringing focus to what our intentions are as a whole. Also, how these perceptions outside of ourselves and choices to stay in biased environments only creates more biases. One of the attachments i had is/was being a parent.  I had my daughter at a very young age and I was 23 when I had my son.  When my daughter started becoming an adult it was very difficult to transition my role as a mother from overseer to supporter. I knew I wanted to be involved but, too much involvement caused friction. I found a podcast “What great bosses know” By Jill Geisler. This was able to allow me to create a different role as a parent. I’ve always seen books on what to expect during the pregnancy and toddler etc. but never what to expect when your kids grow up and move away. My whole identity was based around being a single mother and protecting my children and the more independent they became the more I became aware of what little I knew about myself. It felt like I had been taking care of kids all my life lol. I was finally free to make my own dinner choices or not clean the house every day of the week (cause some rooms never got used) I had all this empty space inside me and in my home. I used this week to just think how and what things I use to fill these spaces and are they true desires or just super needy situations that I chose to distract myself with. In the beginning that’s what I did with over excessing about my body and how it looked like, working to have money in the bank to make me feel accomplished. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting that time back because it was so familiar but, now grateful to be able to explore and be more of the me I never was able to prioritize. 

Before this course I never was introduced to detailed information about the Chakra’s. I’ve seen a poster here or there and then a mention on Dr. Strange. I don’t have an opinion on it. I am very open to learning more and being able to meet others where they are and to be able to provide flows that integrate these chakra’s so if participants happen to see a poster in the future they can connect it with an embodied experience and our purpose of sitting up straight or the butterfly pose flutters. Someone else may believe in them like children believe in Santa Claus and who am I to say it isn’t real? I don’t know they aren’t. 

Thank you, Darnelle, for your insightfulness of accepting people and welcoming all to your spaces!  AHIMSA!  Non-harm!  Great ways to look at non-attachment from Zach, Nyla, and Alex.  Thank you!

So enjoyed the movement practice.  I am taking this class on a Saturday morning and it was a great way to awaken my body and start my day.  Thank you, Jen!

Aprighaha- Non-attachment, Letting-Go.  What are we not seeing when we are holding on so hard to something or someone?  How is this causing us harm?  Don’t retain what causes you harm.  Let it go!

Non-attachment is a Yama.  Attachment is a Klesha.

Letting Go of How/Where/ How I should be.  Putting off the attachment until the outside IF is accomplished.   We need to embrace ourselves instead of holding on to our ideals.  We need to release non-attachment towards others as well.  Don’t ignore what is harming you, not your truth, stealing from you, what is excessive or is your addiction.  It is different for everyone!

We need to practice not-attachment toward others. What are barriers to letting go? : No understanding of how/why, lack of resources, options, support; Fear; identity; self-doubt; guilt.  Yoga can be a support for letting go!  We need to self study to find out how we can be our best selves!

7 Main Chakras compared to the cervical spine very interesting. Indicators in imbalance of each of the chakras.

What causes harm still from childhood?  ACE- Adverse Childhood Experiences

I appreciate Katie’s honesty of understanding the Chakras.

I am with Juliana that less is MORE!  We are definitely taking in too much.

Holding on to past experiences can be disrupting our nervous system today.   Let’s all move forward working on Aprarighaha!

Non-attachment is a Yama.  Attachment is a Klesha. I love this and it pings as a truth in my soul.

I highly recommend watching a recorded session after attending the live recording, with about 3 days in between. Taking full ownership of my cognitive, psychological, and emotional responses, I clearly see, hear, and perceive differently during the session, compared to watching the recording. I've had a few days to process the live event and reflect on my reactions, responses, professional judgements, and personal and professional growth. What a joy. Someone has said a few times about practicing yoga on and off the mat. I take this to heart. Yoga the physical practice, yoga the philosophy, yoga the union between my mind, body and spirit. Yoga the joining of my conscious awareness with yours, and a greater awareness that we are all one consciousness, and I become aware of my awareness, and shed the judgements... clarify perceptions, redress projections... all where western psychology and academic training meets eastern philosophy.

How that grows!

Advaita Vedanta, non-duality, non-attachment, zero dogma, and the Sufi mystic Rumi's famous quote,

'It is what it is', (Fīhi Mā Fīhi) balanced by Alan Watts:

"As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

But 'turmoil' is a judgement, and the world is a reflection of my internal state. I fall back intuitively therefore on the Buddha's, 'Everything is perfect'. So, references to race, gender, politics, social justice begin to define themselves with no colouring-in from me. Your yoga is my yoga and vice versa, because I am the most important person, and you are! Isn't that great?? These process flow like a river in my counselling and yoga teaching practices, as easily as the breath. It's almost as if, and as I write I know that it is, the most natural thing in the world and everyone's birth right. My specialties as a counsellor are ADHD, ASD, and personality disorders. Over time, with a post-traumatic growth model as scaffolding, everything is healed. NPD is a bit tricky, but not impossible. Yoga is the medicine ❤️ and meditation the medication 🤩 

Gratitude | Gratitude |Gratitude - thank you a million times for everyone's company, and the course, and everything in the world that just 'is'.

Have a fabulous day.

Andy.

ps. and the philosophy of Wu Wei, action through non-action, reinforced by non-attachment to any outcome or expectation, and the foundation for person-centred counselling. I find when I 'do' this, or 'being' it, I am a perfect expression of the Universe in ecstatic motion - but - I don't do it alone. I do it with you. Man, I am so inspired! A kazillion thank you's 🤩 

@andymccallumoutlook-com This is so amazing Andy. Spot on with the Wu Wei philosophy. A couple weeks ago our CEO came into town (after a few short months getting to know him in my new position, leading the E-Commerce side of the company and helping to incorporate marketing strategies) and told us that he was moving this West location back to NY by the end of June this year because of the growth. I could tell the other employees were bummed but, in my private meeting with him I shook his hand and congratulated him and asked was there anything I could do for him (after he just “laid me off”). With the limbs of yoga we have been studying and mindfulness I see this as a wonderful opportunity to declutter the space, open up for new experiences, and not bring harm to myself or no harm against my boss. Just to let it go and keep the faith. Not being attached to the outcome but, allowing myself the experience of experiencing this new experience was the WOW moment and I found contentment in that. We definitely don’t do it alone.

@vigilsarah6gmail-com Sarah I absolutely love this. A perfect example of what Darnell has said a few times about yoga, '...on and OFF the mat'. Man that's really cool! 🤩

I really enjoyed this practice. I like using the wall as a prop/variation for the stretch . 

The duality of non-attachment is intriguing to me. I definitely have faulty attachments as a result of how trauma has attached to me. The idea of "when this, then this" reminds me of the saying, 'Everywhere you go, there you are." We bring ourselves and our attachments from one thing to the next. In my life, healing and letting go of attachments has to proceed freedom (non-attachment). I now know a job won't fix me, more money won't fix me, a boyfriend won't fix me...none of the things I've clung to in my life ever fixed me. And I use the word "fix" without judgement of myself. It is the full acknowledgment that there are things attached to me and choices I've made that have caused me a great deal of pain and suffering and have prevented me from being free.

Non-attachment (especially expectations) comes into play so frequently in my work with the houseless community. There have been many instances in which I have grown close to individuals I serve and have adopted expectations of them that don't necessarily reflect their desires. It left me disappointed when they didn't do what I wanted. As a result, now I am intentional about noticing my own bias and expectations to the benefit of those I serve. I also pray about it a lot.

ROUTINE! That really struck a chord with me. Eight people in the grocery line and my mind blows up 😫. I've had seasons of abject disappointment because nothing went as they should. I didn't realize what was happening at the time. My mentor noticed I was struggling and she said, "Disappointment turns to bitterness and bitterness eats everything." Thank you for that reminder!

@andymccallumoutlook-com I agree the recording was different. I could stop it and replay it and it helped reinforce the ideas and messages.

@vigilsarah6gmail-com i feel ya on the kids! mine will be 14 in Nov and Im starting to feel the differences in their needs for me so yeah I get that.

Hi everyone! 

I was in attendance for the live session, but had to hop off early before breakout rooms -- so I figured I'd add my thoughts just incase!

I found this session incredibly healing, especially when so many of these notions that I had in my head regarding Aparigraha (" after that, when I do this....") were coming up so often for me, but I didn't even realize it until I listened to this lecture! It was a huge turning point in terms of my own growth and self-reflection to have these on the screen and feel like they were my stream of consciousness. So, so incredibly humbling. It made me feel like I was more in control of my own Aparigraha instead of feeling obligatorily attached to notions that don't matter for the present moment. I understand now how these things close us off to present opportunities through how forward-focusing and hypothetical these thoughts are. Learning about Aparigraha has been one of my favorite discussions because of how letting go of timelines and expectations can actually be an avenue of experiencing a more honest version of ourselves. 

In my yoga practice, and as a facilitator, I would like to guide meditations on letting go and releasing these expectations of ourselves. This was incredibly inspiring to me!

I was saddened to be absent during this live session - but am so grateful for the opportunity to hear everyone's voices in the recording! Lately, the order of our modules and live sessions has felt a little targeted, as if a higher power has seen what I am currently struggling with and has allowed me to reflect, deconstruct, and re-envision my thought patterns. 

The considerations on our topic of Aparigraha was no different. With the circus that is U.S. politics right now, I have found myself attached to a certain vision for what I believe is a fair society for all - equality, embracing diversity, distribution of wealth, equal access to healthcare, abortion rights, access to childcare, LGBTQ+ rights, BIPOC rights, etc. Although I will always fight for equal rights for all, I really resonated with Zach's mention of the Serenity prayer. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I had never heard of the Serenity prayer before, but it truly did help me channel my energy to a more refined lens, in focusing my efforts on a community level, where I can see the impacts directly. Arguing with random white folks I've encountered about why they should care about basic human rights has rarely had an impact. But volunteering in the community - offering food, hygiene products, NarCan, having conversation and building community, etc. to folks, has. 

Aparigraha has also pushed me to further reimagine my intense attachment to perfectionism. As an immigrant, I find my mind races with thoughts of "You aren't doing enough!" or "People around you have the comfort of generational wealth and success, what makes you think you are worthy or deserving of rest?" By evaluating my own conditioning, I have learned to let go of the corporate trap of "Achieving the American Dream." Who and what has convinced me that the only way to happiness is through climbing a corporate ladder, assimilating fully to American culture, and leaving my Nepalese values of family, health, and dignity behind? "When you hold tightly to a certain vision, what else are you not seeing?" My great grandparents, my grandparents, my parents, my brother and I - we all have struggled with food and housing insecurity. Now, as an adult, I am so thankful to say I no longer struggle with food or housing insecurity. That, in itself, is enough. Me existing and trying to make the most of the day, is enough. Working hard is admirable. But when I used working hard as my entire sense of worth and value as an individual, I had only grown to resent my own self. Honoring aparigraha is challenging, but freeing. 

This section of non-attachment really spoke to me as I have studied different attachment styles and it is very interesting to me how most of my friends get anxiously attached to partners and jobs. The part about fearing the unknown also stood out as I have moments where I catch myself thinking in sparcity mindset due to past generational trauma. So cool that I can now be aware of these things and exist without resenting myself for it or others. Feeling very enlightened after watching todays sesh!! 🙂