9/4/25 Live Session Recording

Hi, everyone. Great being with many of you on Thursday. I missed the first half hour and just watched it. The grounding exercise and your reflection on aparigraha/letting go through this reminded me of a breathing visualization some shared that I've found particularly helpful. It's visualizing letting go of anything that has accumulated in the body that doesn't belong on the exhale and visualizing inhaling any parts of yourself that have been lost on the inhale. 

In Shauna and Jen's discussion of balance while sharing out from the mindfulness opportunity, I found myself feeling so grateful for the interpretations of balance being more of a sense of having a good mix of dimensions in life (e.g., family, friends, spiritual, physical, work, etc.). To be honest, I had approached the question more from a place of just whether I was not falling out of balance - with my emphasis being more about work vs. everything else. It was a great reminder of the multiple ways to consider balance. The transition to the school year has been challenging for me, and I found the balance and stability reflection to be a helpful way to monitor whether I was losing my general sense of balance. Will give this some more thought!

Hope you all have a wonderful week! It's hard to believe we're halfway done with the training. This has been such an amazing journey so far, and I'm excited to keep going and see what else emerges. 

Implementing Aparaigraha or non-attachment in my personal practice would create a sense of space from self-critical narratives such as not being flexible or strong enough. Being able to detach from these thoughts would create freedom from the expectation of how things should be or look, and rather, reorient my awareness to the present moment and to “what is” with compassion and acceptance. By embracing my perceived limitations on the mat, I can set the foundation for growth to arise with humility and patience. Through this self-practice I would be able to identify conditioned thoughts and behaviours; in turn this would grow my capacity to transform samskaras, and in so doing, I would be better able to communicate and model these messages as a facilitator. In the role of a facilitator, I believe it is one of my responsibilities to encourage the idea of “progress not perfection”, and to offer a safe and inclusive environment where participants can relinquish expectations and create a sense of freedom from within. 

Hi, I missed the last hour or so due to my WI FI going down so can I start by apologising to who I should have been in the break out room with. Non Attachment on a personal level was interesting as I was someone who was always putting off everything until I retired until lots of close friends never got to retirement and I quickly realised we have to live for the now ! The dynamic yoga sequence was really good and I look forward to putting this into practice . I feel my classes don’t flow like they should so these sequences should help with this.

1. When exploring balance, coordination, or focus in your own body, what narratives surfaced for you? How might those stories shape the way you offer or experience movement?I feel that balance, coordination and focus are areas that I enjoy the most in a yoga practice and also the point where I can bring in the most meditative focus. In other Yoga classes I have attended I enjoyed the opportunity to slow down and have less exertive movement. I find a combination of relative stillness and focus a good way to connect my mind and body.

2. In what ways might practicing non-attachment (Aparigraha) create more space or freedom in your facilitation style—or in your personal practice?I think non-attachment is an area I've done a lot of work with in various areas of my life but it is something I definitely need to bring into my personal practice. Yoga asana has always felt like a challenge to me because of my history with childhood illness and a disconnect from my body and it's abilities. This plays into my relationship with Yoga a lot, I feel a lot of judgement but also quite lost - I find myself looking for guidance rather than looking into myself. I have a very ingrained feeling that I have a lack of competency in what I'm doing that limits my growth and limits the joy and play of learning. I think that by working with this in my personal practice it will help me create more freedom in my facilitation style as I will have a better understanding of how attachment presents itself and ways to challenge that in a playful way. 

I firmly believe that everything that makes me suffer is because of attachment. 100 percent. It's interesting though, to think about what gently letting go looks like vs complete dissociation. I believe that human brain can make anything a shortcoming when probed. lol At least, I know I can. In 12 step fellowships, step three often talks about let go and let god. and I've struggled with this concept since I got sober. What exactly is letting go? How does it feel in the body? Of course in 12 step fellowships, the prevailing higher power comes into play. We offer our burdens to an entity that is suppose to guide us to become and express ourselves in the gentlest way possible without our claw marks. That seems to fit to be honest. Without claw marks. But again, what does non attachment looked like in the body? Like when I forgive, when I am accepting that the past couldn't have been any different and I am relaxed? How can I obtain a sense of letting go to regulate myself and how can I express this and facilitate a nurturing environment for everyone to feel a sense of ease and letting go within themselves? 

As we progress into the studies, I have to say I am getting a little bit nervous in the regards of facilitation. For weeks and months I thought I could see myself doing it so effortlessly. Yet, I tried to practice on my partner and I felt my cues were shaking and it was hard to infuse trauma informed language when I am so used to studio yoga. But really, what I am clawing at? Is it looking good? Because I am 100 percent married to perfection and my whole life if I don't succeed well the first time, oh well never again. 

but I just feel like everything has been so easy lately, with understanding that EVERYTHING is a practice. I can practice at facilitation. I can practice letting go. Nothing is utterly linear. I remember ,I had this less than great therapist once, and I was really heartbroken about a relationship. Like really heartbroken. And she told me that it was temporary that I was no longer in a relationship at the time I didn't get it. But now I do. My relationship with everything being mutable is on the offensive. Maybe non attachment just means nothing is permanent. 

much love wild souls. <3 

Great session.  Aparigraha (Non-Attachment) - my absolute favourite Yama. Letting go of things, feelings, intrusive thoughts, expectations, and relationships. The most significant cause of woe and suffering is holding on to what could be. Hannah's statements about showing up and feeling gratitude - I loved that. Rachael asking what make a posture a yoga pose... Jen saying that 1,000 years ago there were no poses (I've been looking into this, it was men in Lotus meditating). Only in the last 50 to 100 years when Yoga was brought to the West were asana's introduced, some of which were by and for men only, making poses tricky for a woman's pelvic i.e. post birth etc. This made so much sense, and, two things! So Yoga was dominated or exclusive to men and appropriated by women?? Does Yoga care? No. Okay that feels good. It's inclusive. 

Concentration and focus create a flow state. What does Tony Robbins say, 'where focus goes, energy flows'. Trauma-informed sequencing is very unique. If I have 20 incarcerated persons in the group the energy levels will all be different. I'll need to check in and listen. Yoga for one who declines to participate and just wants to sit is PERFECT. That's still Yoga. One who needs to move, yes let's do that. There is balance in letting go. There is balance is NOT being attached to an outcome. This lesson actually could be a philosophical transferable skill into the worl. Taking Yoga off the mat. I LOVE THAT!

Mindfulness and meditation, and sleep habits. I go to sleep at 8pm and get up at 3am: study, work out, yoga, breathing, academic study. Jeepers as I write that I think I must be mad. Or unique. At 58, but I don't care. I do my thing and love it and am unattached to opinions and judgements. 

What's that Bible reference? 'Judge not lest ye be judged', and 'do not judge and you shall not be judged'. I'm good with everything. It all flows and I don't seek to change it, and letting go is a constant daytime practice. Letting go is bliss. Can I teach this in yoga practice? Yes. A prison cell is an ashram. Close your eyes and detach or un-attach from your thoughts and feelings and just 'flow'. Aparigraha... nice.

Great session. This course is fabulous. 

When I explored balance and focus in my own body, the story that surfaced was about how much weight I’ve carried — not just physically, but emotionally. After losing 140 pounds, balance feels different in this body. Some days I still move like I’m heavy, bracing for a fall, gripping with control. Other days, I feel light and fluid, like I’m finally meeting myself without all the weight I used to hold. Motherhood weaves into this, too — the constant shifting, the wobbles, the way I’ve had to steady myself for my kids, even when my inner world was spinning. Those narratives make me teach balance as something alive, something that changes. It’s not about perfect stillness; it’s about how you catch yourself, how you breathe when things tilt.

Aparigraha shows up in my practice every day. I know what it’s like to cling to a number on the scale, to an identity, to the idea that once I “got there,” I’d finally be enough. But when I lost the weight, I realized the clinging didn’t dissolve with it. Letting go has been about releasing those expectations and trusting that I don’t need to wait for the “next version” of myself to show up fully. As a teacher, that means I can give people the space to move without needing it to look a certain way. I don’t need their progress to validate mine. Non-attachment lets me soften into presence — with myself, with my children, and with anyone I guide. That space feels like freedom.

Thank you for this recording. Several things resonated with me with this week's materials. First on the concept of aparigraha, I have long struggled with letting go of presenting an image of who I think I should be. Not wanting toi reveal my "flaws", in particular not wanting anyone to know that I have struggled with substance abuse as a form of self-medication. As far as letting go of an expected our desired outcome, I feel like I have made progress here for myself but still struggle so much when it comes to my kids. When they go through disappointment because things did not turn out the way they wanted them to, it just breaks my heart and keeps me up at night. I have tried to model for them that sometimes when things don't turn out the way you want them to it's because there is something better out there that wouldn't be possible if things had gone exactly as planned.

I also am reflecting a lot on the chakras and how we hold trauma in our bodies. As a victim of multiple SA in my lifetime this one really hits home. I had known for a while that I stored that trauma in my body. On numerous occasions, I have cried during a yin when doing deep hip openers. This was particularly bad in the aftermath of the 2024 election, knowing that we had once again elected an admitted sexual abuser to the presidency. I think I cried through every yin class for a month and still do sometimes now. I did not know the connection to the gallbladder though which is fascinating to me. I had to have my gallbladder removed in 2014 despite having none of the "risk factors". 

Thanks for another wonderful session! The yama of Aparigraha or letting go, is a pivotal one for me. I can look back over my own life and realize that when I was brave enough to let go of attachment, that is when I truly grew into myself. My (and maybe the human) default response is to become deeply attached to things I care about. But that caring attachment can quickly devolve into strict expectations for myself and loved ones. I am working hard to release expectations and replace them with acceptations (made that up, but I like the sound of it), both for myself and others. When I first became a yoga teacher, I carefully wrote out all the poses of the class in the correct order and created a theme for the day. All before I even laid eyes on the participants who showed up! Or gleaned the vibe of the group. I was so attached to crafting the "perfect" class that I didn't look carefully at the perfect people who were there; I was too busy looking at my notes. I was attached to any feedback that was given to me and to whether or not each student showed up the next week. I am working on releasing these attachments and trusting in the magic of letting go. I recognize that when I am less attached to outcomes, I invite a spirit of acceptance, expansion and relaxation to my own practice. That in turn is more inviting to others who are on their own yoga journey.   

When exploring balance, coordination and focus in my own body, I find that I have to get out of my head. That is a really good thing! I do not typically trust the wisdom of my body, but once I let go of my mind chatter, my body steps up.

I think practicing non-attachment creates space because it takes the pressure off. When I let go of expectations of myself, of others around me, or of how a class “should” look, I can stay present instead of comparing to the past (“I used to be more flexible” or “my body used to look different”) or worrying about the future. That helps me meet myself and others where we’re at right now.

It also shifts how I see students. If I’m not attached to assumptions or biases about what their practice should look like, I can actually see them more clearly and offer support that’s genuine rather than forced.

Non-attachment to outcomes has been huge too. It’s easy to want students to walk away with a certain experience or for the class to feel a certain way, but letting go of that expectation gives me more freedom to just guide, hold space, and trust that each person will take what they need.

The challenge is that fear and self-doubt definitely come up…it’s tempting to cling to expectations as a way of feeling in control. But the more I practice non-attachment, the more I notice those patterns softening. It makes room for curiosity, compassion, and a lot more freedom in my personal practice.

It’s been helpful to reflect on the two prompts for this week. While balance in a life has many meanings depending on the type of balance we are discussing, the aspect of balance that is speaking to me more today is actually physical balance. Physical balance has always been a struggle for me. Even when I started yoga when I was younger and healthier, I could never do tree pose “right,” and I didn’t even try Warrior III. As I’ve gotten deeper into my practice, I have somewhat more efficacy with the various balancing poses now, but they are still a serious challenge every single time. And usually, in a group class setting I can’t do them because it’s harder to 100% focus.

One of the clearest reasons for my physical balance struggles is the weakness of certain muscle groups in my lower body. Specifically, I’ve realized recently that my abductors are extremely weak. While there are postures in yoga that strengthen them, part of my plan to address this issue is to include this muscle group in my strength training workouts. But the reflection I have regarding balance here is about the balance between the types of physical exercise I engage in. I love yoga, so asana is always my go-to and I’m generally on my mat 6-7 days/week. Meanwhile, strength training is very boring, and it doesn’t have the other components of yoga that make doing asana feel more fulfilling. However, especially now in middle age, I can’t thrive on yoga alone. Strength training will be key to maintaining health over the long term. So, I’m trying to achieve more balance in the distribution of my exercise, in part to achieve more balance in my physical body.

In this process, non-attachment is coming up too because part of achieving this distributional balance in workouts is becoming less attached to the endorphin release of asana practice. I can perform asana without making it an obsession.

Practicing non-attachment has been very significant in my personal practice, especially for the last 18 months or so. I went through a period where I mostly stopped practicing asana. Over that time, I gained approximately 150 pounds, and while I am totally fat-positive, I must say that for me that weight gain constituted and ran alongside serious health challenges, such as pre-diabetes and joint problems. I would occasionally take a yoga class, but I often found them embarrassing because I couldn’t do many of my favorite poses and my ego couldn’t take it. I was very attached to the version of my asana practice that was heavy vinyasa flow, doing wheel pose and shoulderstand and flipping my dogs and all of that. But I couldn’t even do down dog, so being attached to wheel pose was very destructive.

When I decided maybe a year and a half ago to refocus on yoga, I conscientiously made part of the growth process learning to give up the idea that the yoga of my arthritic 40s needed to be remotely similar to the yoga of my 20s. I practiced mostly at home and used apps with accessible yoga practices, and I learned to shake off any shame when I did take a public class and did table pose instead of down dog. This approach of not being attached to this old vision of my yoga has truly enabled me to come back home to my yoga practice. Amazingly, in the process, I have regained my ability to do many of the poses I had to let go—I flipped my dog like six times this morning! (haha). BUT what feels different about now is that I’m trying not to look at individual postures as medals I get to keep. They are postures that feel nourishing now. But as I age, even if I do maintain my asana practice, there will be postures I can do now that I won’t be able to do in a few years. And I can’t be attached to those either.

In terms of facilitation, I hope I will be able to convey a few themes related to non-attachment in the practice to participants. One is the idea I was just talking about, which is that we can’t cling to some notion of ourselves as a yoga or an athlete or anything like that in the past. Whether we can do a pose and do it well is not a component of our identity, so we don’t need to be attached to it to be grounded in who we are. A second theme is related to not being attached to postures on a specific day. On some days, our forward folds will come easily, and on other days we won’t fold much at all. Some days are down dog days, other days are child pose days. But any day we engage with our bodies in whichever way feels right to us is a good day of yoga. So, we should try to avoid being attached to poses or clinging to our assessments of how “well” we did in a pose on any given day.

I think some of the things I told myself when my movement was extremely limited: that we’re going to try this, that we’ll try our best, that everything is fine no matter what, and that we’ll try it again some other time if it doesn’t work out this time—all of those ideas are ones I would try to keep as ground principles in any space I facilitated.