9/10/26 Live Session Recording (Module 11)

Surrender really does come with so many different embodied reactions and connotations depending on the context. Throughout this session, I kept thinking about how much surrender ties into acceptance, and how difficult acceptance can be for folks who already have incredibly limited autonomy in correctional environments.

I am a trained facilitator of Moral Reconation Therapy (MRT), which is a cognitive behavioral approach designed to address criminal thinking, co-occurring disorders, and substance use. It is a self-paced, step-based program. Step three of the program focuses heavily on acceptance of our current reality. We talk a lot about releasing our grip on the things we cannot control and redirecting our energy toward the things we can. I find this is one of the most difficult steps for participants to grasp conceptually, but once they “get it,” it often seems to have one of the most profound impacts.

In correctional environments, there is often very little that feels within an individual’s control. Because of that, people may grip very tightly to whatever ounce of control they have left, or attempt to force control in situations where it may not naturally exist. And truly, it makes so much sense. When so much of your autonomy has been taken away, of course you are going to fight to maintain whatever sense of control remains.

The problem is that trying desperately to force or maintain control often creates more harm. It often leads to arguments, damaged interpersonal relationships, disciplinary actions within the facility, and ultimately more consequences and stress for the individual and the people around them. Once people begin to recognize the areas they do have control over, intentionally put their energy there, and then practice accepting or surrendering to what is outside of their control, I often see them struggle less. Things seem to flow more smoothly in nearly every area of their lives. There is a fine line here, because we also do not want to fall into an “absolutely nothing is in my control, therefore F it all” mentality. That is not surrender - that is giving away our agency. It also doesn’t mean completely surrendering to systems of harm and accepting injustice either.

I think this is also where I see people truly reclaim their power. Surrender can sound like the opposite of power, but I actually think it can be a way of accessing it. When someone recognizes what is actually within their control and chooses to act within that space, they are no longer giving all of their energy to fighting something they cannot change. And when they consistently act within the areas they can control, often more doors begin to open, which can create even more opportunities for agency and choice. It becomes this ripple effect. It also has this comforting way of showing that even in times where everything external feels out of your control, you always have your internal control over yourself and your responses to the world around you, and I think there’s something so profound about that.

Okay, I rambled long enough. That’s what I’ve been chewing on as it relates to surrender. I really love the overlap between yoga philosophy and evidence-based practices. Nerdy spiritual social worker af 🙂

I don't have a very religious upbringing but when I think of surrender I always associate that word with god or religion. people often say they surrender and give it all up to god. Although I am not religious that seems like a peaceful existence in their context. They surrender everything to their god but what do they get in return? 'surrender' feels a little existential for me, and that feels unreachable almost. I cant give up control physically and mentally so it is very uncomfortable. I am a control freak through and through. I have yet to figure out where exactly that comes from but I am an oldest daughter & a virgo with anxiety. Not a great combo for surrendering...

I can however accept a few of things about myself or my life, so maybe that is the first step I need to take. It seems the most approachable since I already have a good relationship with that concept. My relationships with others concern me the most because I take pride in being a good friend and partner with no exceptions of getting anything in return. I feel the most secure in Asteya Non excess because I give up a lot of things to find peace. I often have a problem with non harm Ahimsa because of the self talk. I have been getting better through these past months just in bringing awareness to the fact that I do it in the first place. The negative self talk bleeds into my moods and relationships so I try to cut it or not do it in the first place to prevent it seeping in. 

I really liked the deep explanations on the class style and sequencing that was extremely helpful to have it broken down that way! I look forward to using this in class moving forward!

Surrender is non -resistance to something that we can't control. Focus on what I can do and enjoy the process but surrender to the outcome that we cannot control. It will bring us freedom and inner peace. 

There is some part that I am a bit confused though. 'Surrender is to stop changing who you are' I always thought that evolving through change and learning is one of the reasons why we are here on this earth. I am way better and happier version of me right now than when I was young because I kept trying to change myself to evolve to reach my happiness. To me, the meaning of 'change' is like the opposite of stagnant when it comes to myself. So I am a bit confused. Or 'stop changing who I am' means maybe same thing as accepting myself the way who I am and satisfied to myself the way who I am without any judgement. Or it means simply be kind to myself. Love myself. So, wow surrender includes everything. I am still working on it  🙂

Surrender is becoming deeply personal to me as I navigate changes in my life and the future I imagined. For much of my life, I have tried to create safety by keeping everyone together, meeting others expectations, and carrying more than I could comfortably hold. I am learning to acknowledge what is happening in my life without believing I have to fix every part of it. Surrender means allowing myself to accept that I cannot control another person‘s choices, and giving myself permission to choose peace and boundaries even when the outcome is uncertain. As I reconnect with my father and work with young people whose experiences remind me of my own, I am making room for both the pain of my past and the possibility of something different. I can offer care without being responsible for everyone’s healing. Right now, surrender means taking the next honest step without needing the entire path to be clear, and trusting that I can meet what comes with greater compassion for myself.

Surrender has been a meaningful concept for me because I am learning that I cannot control every outcome, no matter how much I may want to. As someone who was frequently labeled a “control freak” growing up, allowing things to occur naturally hasn’t always been my strength. I have often felt responsible for keeping things together or trying to make situations work, even when they were outside of my control. I struggle to celebrate my own achievements because i’m my mind, it was my responsibility to achieve them. I am beginning to understand that surrender is not the same as “giving up” completely.

For me, it means recognizing what is and is not within my control, releasing the need to have all the answers, and trusting myself and giving myself permission to move forward even when I don’t know exactly what comes next.

Just a comment on the first hour of discussion during the recording about showing up in spaces that are unfamiliar, intimidating, and for some even scary. I really appreciated Alejandro and Jen's remarks about giving every being, every soul, the opportunity to be seen, be humanized, and to heal. As a criminal defense attorney, I have spent hundreds of hours of my life in jails and prisons and it is a very familiar space to me. I forget that the average person has not been in those settings and I can understand the hesitancy and apprehension. BUT - I think it's so important to remind ourselves that we are not there to judge, nor inquire. We are there to guide and teach and share the truly incredible ability of yoga to heal. I just thought it was such an important conversation. 

I have experienced "surrender" in a couple different forms in the last 3 or so years. My first truly all encompassing understanding of surrender was when I got sober. I did not go through AA where surrender is a core tenant of the program. But through my own journey, the idea of surrendering - surrendering to my powerlessness over alcohol; to my regrets; to wasted time; to self-harm; to falsehoods; to embarrassment - I was able to start a true journey of forgiveness, self-acceptance, and self-love. Having become comfortable with the idea and feeling of surrendering, I have had an even more profound experience with it recently. I was unexpectedly released from my work contract in August. As a single person, I have only myself to rely on - no second income, no safeguards of a family support system. In past decades - I know I would have gone into total panic mode. But this time, I accepted the reality, and I trusted that the universe would show me the way. That's not to say I haven't put in a lot of work on self-reflection, self-discovery, and self-analysis to figure out what my next step was. But I allowed the universe to guide me and I surrendered to the process. Sure enough, I have met some amazing people, I was led to a job posting, and I have just completed the interview process with a good chance of getting the position. Even if I don't, the calmness and steadiness that came with surrender has helped me navigate this process with clarity and confidence. I have many thoughts about how I will approach this new employment situation and my life in general and the steadiness and ease. A feel a trust within myself going forward that I am strong and capable of handling the challenges of life I will continue to face. The foundation of yoga has surely added to my ability to move forward in life with a better understanding of myself, how I move through the world, and how my energy creates portals of openness to welcome in change. 

The idea of bringing in the idea of surrender to a carceral setting seems challenging. The "maintenance to surviving" really resonated with me and I can see a path of offering surrender to self to participants to help disrupt that survival mode. Offering surrender as creating trust and confidence in yourself seems like an accessible avenue to opening up this idea to the practice.