9/16/25 Live Session Recording

Thank you for an incredible transmission on Santosha. 

The practice was filled with all 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows of the human experience. 

Some thoughts on contentment… 

santosha, for me, speaks to being content with the embodied experience. For me, I am not this physical form. As much as socialization, education and societal structures attempt to connect the soul with the physical form, i do not identify with the meat suit that is named Daniel. I am nothing. I can’t control my nails from growing, i can’t will my hair into growing, I can’t force digestion. As much as the capitalistic culture wants to offer solutions, augmentations, material items to help. I can’t force any of my autonomic systems to perform. I can affect some of the functions through breath work, movement and nourishment. 

I connect to the elements to find contentment. My meat suit and its functions are made up of space dust. I am Earth, Water, Fire, Air and space. These are the element of our solar system and I am content in their continuation after I drop my body. I feel like I will return to the Devine mother and that brings both and contentment and gratitude. 

we are all walking each other home. Let us travel with love, understanding, and care for one another. 

Love everyone, feed everyone, remember god, and tell the truth." - Neem Karoli Baba

Contentment, for me, isn’t about things being perfect. It’s when I can sit in my body and feel steady, even when life is messy or uncertain. Sometimes that looks like noticing my breath slow down or my shoulders drop, and realizing I don’t have to chase or fix anything in that moment. As a leader, I feel content when I stop comparing myself to others and just show up as I am—real, imperfect, but present.

When I’m getting ready to facilitate, I notice I put a lot of pressure on myself. I want everything planned out and done “right,” which usually comes from fear of not being enough. I catch it in my body—my chest feels tight, my jaw clenches, like I’m bracing for something. That’s usually when I remind myself that holding space isn’t about perfection, it’s about connection.

The new facilitation workbook made me curious about how to balance structure with freedom. Part of me loves the clarity and direction, but another part resists, afraid it will box me in or make me lose the intuitive, somatic way I like to guide. Sitting with that, I realized structure can actually support my flow, not limit it. It gives me something steady to lean on so I can trust myself more and let things unfold.

I feel contentment within myself when I'm just "being", showing up for the people and experiences that fill me up, rather than putting pressure on myself to perform or being ruled by my unrealistic expectations of who I think I should be. 

I've never taught a yoga class so I can't say what it feels like to be in that space. However, I'm nervous about teaching in the future and fears about being good enough are definitely present.  

Jen, during the training you said," can you honor those people you love by showing them how you show up for yourself and giving them the permission to show up for themselves in the same way". This really resonated with me. As a wife, mom of three, primary caretaker for my sick mother, perfectionist and a practicing therapist, I have a habit of putting way more on my plate than I can manage. This is not the way I want my children to show up for themselves. 

I have to be honest, just scrolling through the first couple of pages in the facilitation workbook caused me tension! 

I experience contentment in my body when I trust it and it's wisdom. When I honor it and don't criticize it. When I recognize that my body like all things on this earth, ebbs and flows, and I just need to let that happen instead of trying to control it. To nourish my body, I spend time in nature rejuvenating myself with the essential elements of earth, air, fire and water. If I am content in my own body, I believe that shows up in my leadership. I am a quiet leader but I believe quiet leaders are just as important as those who lead with booming voices. When I honor and accept myself as a leader, I believe that has a calming effect on others and makes room for them to honor and accept themselves as well.  

When preparing to facilitate, I often experience imposter syndrome, despite the fact that I have gone through two YTT programs and teach yoga. I have never viewed myself as athletic or flexible, and can easily sink into self doubts. When I go a bit deeper though, I remember that yoga is not how one "performs" on the mat, but how one lives in this world with ease and grace and a desire to help others.

I just printed out the new facilitation workbook and it sparks joy for me. I love it's authenticity and ease of use. I am curious about the six phases of the trauma informed sequencing, since this is new to me.   

I make notes as I watch. What a great session, set up for spiritual success with Jen's immediate deep-dive introduction with honest feelings, ownership, and genuineness. That is an ultimate invitation and modelling for how to be, for me. I think Jen is a Guru.

Santosha: yes, okay. It resonates. Want for nothing, and appreciate what I do have. Then feeling that actually I have everything, or, it all. I lack nothing. Richly abundant... I like that. It suggests that having nothing is everything, and validates what some homeless people tell me, that they are happiest with no job, no bills, sleeping under the stars, and hopefully feeling safe. A guy called Darren once said to me, "If you give me a front door and a key you make me a prisoner from my freedom". He shared that at the back of Truro Cathedral in 2021 where I had just watched him pray with the Bishop of Cornwall. That was a moment.

Ram Dass said, 'The World is perfect as it is, including my desire to change it". Wow.

'San' means 'completely' and 'tosha' means contentment, therefore, absolute contentment... at this point I sat back in my chair and really felt that, and a rush of gratitude came, I felt, thank you, I have everything. That really landed with me, then I returned to the slide and read... gratitude!! No way - there we are, the philosophy has truth. That really got me. I sat here at my desk, thinking and feeling, okay, wow! Thank you!

This is an important bit. At 56:45 Robert shares about his pen hovering over the page, being worthy, and trust in self. Robert, dude, if you're reading this, you read my mind. Listening to that being articulated so meaningfully had me sit back and think, ok, do I trust myself? Am I worthy? Is that my childhood? There's a lot to process there, about redemption, and I thought to myself, 'aren't we all the same'? In prison, not in prison, in a prison of the mind, a prison of our making, or like Darren with a door and a key?? 

So, I live with intention. What do I stand for? JUSTICE. Right and wrong, speaking up for those who can't speak for themselves. Man, as I type this I feel emotional, I have such strong, powerful, tidal feelings sweeping up about unfairness and injustice. I let them wash around me because that's how it is for me and I don't need to apologise. Yes, justice. 

This morning before work I felt called to practice. I stood in the bay window and went really slowly into a forward bend. Knees slightly bent, arms hanging loose, and allowing my spine to do it's thing, curving into a convex bow. The sun shone through the window like molten honey, right across my back, and for a long moment I just hung there, warming, so relaxed and so comfortable, in harmony with my body, and melted into the arms of the Universe. I was there forever.

I love yoga and I love how this course and it's richness and diversity in it's people makes me feel whole.

Santosha. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

In terms of preparing to facilitate, I notice a lack in trust in self in my capacity to both plan and deliver a yoga class. I tend to get stuck in a pattern of overpreparing (striving) rather than letting my intuition guide me. Through this overplanning/striving which could be interpreted as perfectionism, I notice growing anxiety around my teaching, finding and using my unique voice. In this way, contentment would allow me to disarm my perfectionism and return to “I am enough” and “I’ve done enough”. Allowing contentment to arise could dissipate the anxiety felt around my teaching and in turn break the pattern of perfectionism/striving.

I struggle with contentment most of the time but in the past just been present and feeling the rain on my face coming out of work knowing someone close won’t get to feel that again .
I put a lot of pressure on myself preparing to facilitate , I want everything to be perfect and need to realise that I don’t work in a perfect world . I am always under time pressure setting up mats etc and I need to be aware not everyone will turn up to the class because of the day they are having ? 
I think the facilitation book looks great and I need to find a printer as it’s not that easy to read on a phone. It looks like it will have lots of practices that I can bring into my classes.

As we've continued with the training I've been thinking more deeply about my service and my work. I've really enjoyed the philosophy elements and thinking about how I integrate this into my life and work. I do feel quite out of my depth when it comes to facilitation. I think the break out groups working on facilitating are a great idea but as the sessions go on quite late here in UK time I'm struggling to stay on the sessions for that long. I'm hoping to print off the facilitation workbook to study and practicing these as my personal practice to feel a level of competency. Also thinking of asking some friends and family to let me guide a practice for them.

I think satosha goes along with aparigrapha, when practicing non-attachment, contentment is much easier to access. I do want to practice contentment for where I'm at and the journey I'm on without focusing solely progress.

I find it incredible how going back and watching the first 55 minutes or so of the recording added so much to what I took away from the session. Monica and Jen's reflections about how much tension there is between culture/family culture and concepts of trust in self and gratitude for self really resonated! Even as these continue to be a struggle/require practice, I find myself feeling really grateful for experiences as an adult that have helped validate my perceptions and my instincts, especially when they were counter to those held by the power structures I found myself in. Sitting with trust in self and gratitude for self unlocks a grounding sensation that also helps me recognize the contrast/lack of santosha that can characterize day-to-day life.

Also, it was really cool to see the examples of past final projects. Wow! Have been spending quite a bit of time lately thinking about (or perhaps resisting, if I'm being honest) some ideas around how I might carry this training forward. Lots more to think about!

One thing that isn't hard for me to feel grateful for is this cohort and this experience. Am so honored to be in community with you all. Hope you are able to experience some contentment over the coming week.

Also, big thanks to all who have posted on santosha. The comments really resonate.

My best,
Hannah

Is it just me or is the link not working?

@mamak8marrgmail-com Thank you for your comment- I just checked the link and it may have been disconnected. It should be set up above and also adding here as well. 9/16 Live Session Recording

Thank you, Jen!

In my body, contentment feels like a quiet trust. It’s the moment I allow myself to pause, to breathe deeply, and to honor the rhythm I’m in. I’m trying to listen more closely to my inner cues—when I need rest, when movement feels nourishing, and when I just need stillness. In these moments of clarity, I am reminded me that my body is not a machine to be optimized, but a wise companion to be respected.

In my leadership, contentment shows up as alignment. It’s when my decisions and actions reflect my values, when I lead from a place of authenticity and humility. I feel most content when I create space for others to grow, when I trust the process, and when I remember that leadership is not about control—it’s about building connection.

I’ve noticed that my contentment is challenged when I overextend, when I forget to pause, or when I let external pressures override my internal compass. 

wow so many take aways! In my last therapy session we talked about not abandoning myself and trusting myself, so this was a testament that I really need to start doing that! ha, in all seriousness, I thought the timing was really adequate. Trusting myself has been something I struggle with for most of my life. In regards to facilitating a yoga class, it's interesting, because while I am incredibly nervous, I firmly believe that this where my path is taking me and sort of feel confident that I have something to bring to the table! however, I am frightened of honoring that because I don't want to look conceded. Like oh, what gives you the right to feel good about yourself? Which leads me to think of my insecurities at work, it's so dumb, but every time my boss closes the door, I literally think he's complaining about me. When really I could let go. - non attachment. I care too much about what people think and tie it to my worth. Like oh wouldn't it be hysterical, you think you're worthy of being liked, loved, good enough ( whatever that means) and you're not hahaha, so it's all taken away. I have no idea what led to this digression, but I am running with it. The point is, I think it's ok to have confidence whether there is evidence or not. This is where faith comes in I suppose, that ole spiritual hygiene question and how much am I attached to? Someone said it in the forum that, non-attachment and contentment seem to go hand in hand. I find contentment to be an honoring of all our humanhood. The kaleidoscopic foundations on which find ourselves. The uncertainty, the mess, the divorce from the ideals of perfection. It's all gotta stay and go, simultaneously, and we can honor that and just be. 

I am thinking a lot of my final reflection. Deciding what medium I want to do and I am struggling. I keep going back and forth. I firmly believe that in this fuckery of times, art will save us. and art [creation] is birthed out of destruction at times. 

I so loved seeing past reflections articulated on the screen.