8/21/25 Live Session Recording

I really enjoyed the strength and resilience practice and can’t believe how effortless you moved us into warrior 1 and then into warrior 3 without really knowing we were about to go into those poses. I had to leave the zoom early as I was exhausted and it’s quite late in the UK . Hadn’t really thought about my personal excesses until today and that even  training in the gym can be excessive . Unwanted thoughts and overthinking can be excessive but the individual can’t always control those thoughts but maybe yoga could help .

• Where do you notice strength and resilience in your practice or daily life right now?

At 02:49:00 Jen said, '...yoga doesn't care about any of that stuff'. YES!! I love that because it's true. Yoga just 'is'. When my wife or someone else makes a judgement or goes on about an opinion about someone or something I listen, but in my head I'm thinking, very objectively, 'I don't care' as in 'I have no attachment and no judgement and I am not attached in any way this way or that'. I always try to think and feel in harmony that it is what it is and I must leave it alone. Any thought or feeling to interfere with what the Universe presents, how dare I imagine that I should change it this way or that. Instead I'll practice gratitude and go with the flow. This bizarrely brings me to the prompt! I have been in professions and situations where strength and resilience have been precious commodities and concepts only. You do, or you die. End of story. If strength and resilience can be built up over time with experience then that is true and I support it, but what is also true is if the chips are down you act or it's game over. I love the idea that both concepts can co-exist and I support them both. I also respect that yoga can contribute beautifully to growing strength and resilience, not just physically, but spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally. There are confounding variables like time of day, day of the month, diet and opportunity. It's so diverse.

• How do you see the relationship between needs and wants? Where do they overlap, and where do they pull you in different directions?I teach the difference between needs and wants in my work. A want is something that is maybe or maybe not, and a need has a higher priority, just this side of essential. I want to buy bread because I like it, and I need to buy bread because if I don't eat I'll die. Nice analogy.

• How does the teaching of Brahmacharya (non-excess) show up for you—on the mat or off the mat?Bramacharya is a great invitation to practice not wanting or needing to do, buy, or eat anything or go anywhere. It is a huge release form thinking and feeling, and meeting the unreasonable expectations of others. I divorce myself from today's throw-away society and people's entitlements. I'm happy to breathe, mind my own business, not judge, and be happy, not just minimally, but to excess as well where going over the top always bites me on the backside. I'm also too old and too tired sometimes to want or need to over-indulge in practice or off the mat. I like to appreciate the sea at the beach, read my books, lie is savasana in the sun, sleep, meditate, have deep one to one conversations with people, and let all the youngsters rush by to excess, like I did once upon a time. Bramacharya is great at the time of life. Jeeze, 27 sun salutations? How about one, slowly? Less is more. I enjoyed this session and my research on the 6th mass extinction lead me to the 4th Kali Yuga and the Precession of the Equinox... go down THAT rabbit hole! I love it. Thank you 😊 

I loved the movement practice and the invitation to contemplate what strength means to me. As someone who is on a recovery journey, I can sometimes forget the strength that exists just by showing up, whether it is on the yoga mat or in daily life – the micro moments and baby steps taken each day that lead me back home to myself and toward a life that is meaningful. Strength initially evoked notions of physical strength, muscles, and “advanced” yoga postures but on deeper thought and exploration, to me, strength is having the patience, acceptance and compassion to meet yourself exactly as you at any given moment and in whatever circumstance that may be present. My understanding of needs vs wants is that a need is a basic necessity in life such as food and shelter. A want is something that is desired externally to oneself. A want could lead to excess if it is rooted in a desire to self-sooth: a coping mechanism for an unidentified internal unmet need. 

What resonated with me most was when Jen asked the question, “If you woke up tomorrow and everything was gone from you, would you feel whole?” I had to stop and think about that concept. In practicing the principles of yoga over the years, not allowing material items to define me has been a large area of growth for me. However, I find that I still rely heavily on other concepts or statuses to define me. For example, at times I have allowed my years of sobriety, the leadership positions I’ve held in my career, and my college degrees to define me. That is only to name a few. Conversely, I have allowed my failures, mistakes, and lack of achievement to stay with me, weighing me down, and giving me permission to not feel worthy. Additionally, I thought about my relationships. If I woke up tomorrow and I was no longer a wife or mother, or something had happened to my beloved pet, of course I’d be distraught, but is it more than that? Do I seek these outside concepts and relationships as things that enhance my life? Or as a means of defining myself to the point where I need them to be happy? I question if there is a part of me that sees these relationships as “necessary” for me to be whole. My question now is, how can I get to a place of non-attachment? Where I can accept things for what they are, let them go as needed, and appreciate that I ever had them at all.

The concept of bramacharya feels really heavy for me as I finished watching this recording 2 days after yet another mass shooting. The fact that there are more guns than there are people in this country is something I cannot comprehend. More than anyone could possibly need for hunting or self-defense (which I don't really believe in, but you do you). There is absolutely no need for civilians to own weapons of war. Why are our children disposable?

• Where do you notice strength and resilience in your practice or daily life right now? I have been in a very discombobulating transition phase the past few weeks, and while I feel confident in my ability to cope physically and mentally with the changes to my schedule, workload, space, etc, I have been struggling with the reality that I am institutionally in what feels like a sewer of my own making/agency. In other words, I find myself feeling completely alienated in the intellectual labor I have signed up to do due to a lack of shared values/politics/meaning with those around me. That being said, I spent the long weekend traveling back to my last hometown and spending quality time with activist friends and communities I have grown to love. It was a good reminder that even though my work life in this season feels extremely isolating (and the institution- morally bankrupt), there are wider communities of support I can lean on to remind me why I signed up for this and the first place and who will carry me through to completion with their encouragement. 

• How do you see the relationship between needs and wants? Where do they overlap, and where do they pull you in different directions? The relationship between needs and wants is a complex one-- sometimes we are so dependent on our wants that they begin to feel like things we truly could not live without. At the same time, institutions and societies often underestimate what is necessary for holistic well-being (beyond basic material needs). I was so heartbroken by the case study on superfund sites, as someone with deep connections in my work/personal life to the populations who end up getting treated as superfluous or discardable lives. It reminded me of a book I read last year called Slow Violence and Environmentalism of the Poor. For me personally, I know that the importance I place on time as the highest good conflicts with my own goals around sustainability- there are many times my impatience to search for products through trade for example overrides and causes me to give my business to an unsustainable supplier. 

• How does the teaching of Brahmacharya (non-excess) show up for you—on the mat or off the mat? In many ways, my staunch commitment to a routine helps me to tackle the ideal of non-excess-- it is usually unstructured time that causes me to gravitate towards frivolous uses of my time or resources. This is a question I want to spend more time reflecting on over the coming weeks, particularly how the communities that have formed me have impacted my approach to non-excess. 

I notice my strength and resilience most in the ways I keep showing up for myself, even when life feels messy. On the mat, it’s in those moments where I let my body guide me instead of forcing it into some perfect shape. Off the mat, it’s the quiet discipline of coming back to my breath, my rituals, and remembering that the Divine is right here, even in the ordinary.

Needs and wants have been a big reflection for me lately. My needs feel like the things that keep me grounded, rest, food that actually nourishes me, time to connect inward. My wants can sometimes pull me outward, toward validation or comfort. But I’m learning that even those wants aren’t “bad," they just need to be held with intention. When I offer them in a sacred way, like turning cooking into devotion, they shift into something that supports me instead of drains me.

Brahmacharya has been showing up as this constant reminder to come back to balance. On the mat, it’s choosing when to engage fully and when to soften. Off the mat, it’s being more mindful about where my energy goes, whether that’s scrolling, working, or even looping in my own thoughts. It doesn’t feel like denial, but more like redirecting my energy into what really matters for my dharma.

I made a note after the practice:

There is nothing to achieve. We simply arrive on the mat to find a growing edge. To arrive in the body, to strengthen our connection to ourselves. To arrive home. Each time we strengthen that bond. We always have that home within ourselves. 

I was not feeling good in my body before the practice, feeling very stiff with various aches and pains - especially in my lower back. Perhaps because of that fact mentally I was easier on myself, I know that this will be good for me but had no expectations because of how I was feeling. Then I had the realisation after the practice - it had felt really good, as it was just what I needed and I had respected where my body was at. That in yoga there is nothing to 'achieve'. My mind will continue to attach to outcomes and I just need to return to this fact till it settles in as an embodied truth. 

These sessions get deeper and deeper. 

1. I loved doing the same sequence, from a few sessions ago, with different energy. I can't wait for the book! 

2. Kelley's centering practice was so beautiful and inviting, thank you for that! 

3. There were so many quotable moments in this session and I thank everyone for their raw open vulnerability. I believe this is how we tend to the path of resistance ( in our world) and liberation. 

3. I have wanted to quit so many times and I love when people shared the same sentiments. I was in the January cohort and I was like man this isn't for me. I can't bring myself to this mirror so intently. Week after week. and plus, with my ND brain it's hard to keep up with course work, the videos ( as my job doesn't allow me to attend to the lives) it's just a lot at times. But I am so happy Jen is so nurturing  and has offered so much grace on this process and I am so thankful that my path has lead me to sharing this experience with you all. 

4. I went ahead and created the WhatsApp group and my brain is like I hope I wasn't pushy and offered it in an an inviting way. lol Maybe my wording with offering the link could have been different. lol 

5. One thing about me, that I struggle with, is that I often find myself posed in dualities. I want to live off the grid and fight the government, but I want little treats and to go to pilates and little walks with my daughter holding my $7 coffee. And I struggle with that co-existence of the two selves often. So when we are asked, to relinquish our material assets, the excess. I am presented again with this gnawing reality and that I love living in it. The foundation of everything that lead me to a healing path is because of excess. Drugs, sex and Rock n'roll. that's how I lived. And while I've been clean and sober for years, I still shop tooo much, think too much. etc. and I justify it by saying that I am not hurting anyone with addiction to power. But as example, I want to spend money on something and it would be reoccurring fee, monthly. This got me thinking, is this stealing from daughter? Should I being using my monetary assets for her? I am not sure. 

to be blunt, sometimes these sessions get me in a spiral, that I am not being the best person I can be. and against the concept of ahimsa, I berate myself that I should be doing better. 

I didn't really think much before I wrote today, I just kind of let it unleash and it's pretty late/early on the US east coast. So maybe I just need to nourish myself with proper sleep. Sometimes, though it seems daunting to ponder all these answerable questions. 

The concept, I loved was that what if the excess is aiding and abiding our dysregulation. I mean of course it is. I literally never, never, not consume content. I am always listening, reading , watching, even when.I meditate, it's always listening to a song or an app. 

Someone brought up a good point tho, that we can question these things, but how much of this is our responsibility in regards to the indvidual? it get's murky that the powers that be want us so unhappy. Someone said it in class, the economy hangs on the balance of our unhappiness and is deepening on us to want to buy little treats. I mean think of the wellness world! I could go off on that! lol. 

Anyway, I am really starting to think about the ending of our time together, in terms of the final sequence, and projects. Really excited to start practicing. If anyone wants to practice together, maybe we can set up a study group on zoom? 

I am dying to connect with everyone, since I can't make the lives! Much love to all. 

The following two things Jen said resonated with me while watching the recording:

- She questioned the use of the words, "beautiful breath" in the grounding exercise and explained value-based cues. I try to choose my words from a compassionate base, but now I realize it is absolutely impossible for me, right now, to always get it correct. My upbringing, what I look like, my challenges/successes, and the privileges that I take for granted all form the words I choose to use. I still have much to learn and hopefully will do so in this space.  

-She said, "If folks are not finding what I'm offering, it's on me to find another pathway to that". This reminds me of the dreaded term, "resistant client" that I often heard while doing my master's degree in therapy. As a young therapist, it was easy to buy into this notion, and one that often kept me from feeling like a failure (it's them, not me)! However, now practicing for over 25 years, I understand there are no resistant clients. There are just people who may not be ready, people that I can't help with my skill set, and maybe a lack of understanding on my part for what they really need. While I'm talking to clients, I'm also monitoring their breath, their eyes, any wincing, an eyebrow raise, and their positions. I can tell what comments may feel good, feel bad, and what may make them disengage. I've never taught trauma informed yoga (or any yoga!), but I imagine its much like doing therapy. You must be fully present, attuned to what you are putting out, and also monitoring how it is being received.

The discussion on non-excess resonated with me because some of my happiest moments are also my simplest ones like sitting in nature or sharing a meaningful conversation with someone I love. In contrast, I notice excess showing up for me in things like shopping or doom scrolling, which usually leave me feeling depleted rather than fulfilled. That awareness has been a helpful reminder to return to what really nourishes me.

I also appreciated the conversation about Superfund sites. I actually incorporate that information into my work as a mitigation specialist, especially when considering how environmental factors like juvenile facilities or low-income housing near contaminated areas can impact health and well-being. It was meaningful to see that connection come into this space, where we’re reflecting not only on ourselves but also on the larger systems we’re part of.

Peace and Energy. I was not in attendance this day due to personal issues I don't prefer to disclose. To start, I appreciated the feedback from the centering practice in being mindful that not every breath is a beautiful one due to respiratory issues etc. I also appreciated the invitation of consideration, to be mindful of how we witness the passions of some folks when they're talking through what they believe in, and where those perspectives are driven from. It made me ponder my own passions and where they're driven from, and how I articulate certain things to others. I've really been enjoying this deep dive into being more mindful in the world from a trauma informed perspective.

@izquierdorachaelme-com Ahh the beautiful breath part also resonated for me. I was very grateful for that feedback. We mean well, but it may not always come across that way.